p Page 6518 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alex Smith Household To Be Well Stocked With Towels
Alex Smith will be making $4 million this season in his restructured deal with the 49ers, plus all this stuff from his wedding registry (wonder if Mike Nolan got him the pannini maker). [Wedding Channel.com]...
Why Won't Denver Love Jay Cutler?
All Jay Cutler wants is a little respect from the Denver Broncos and their new coach Josh McDaniels. Unfortunately, Cutler plays in the NFL where guarantees, assurances and warm hugs don't come easy....
Japanese Baseball Curses Are Weird, Battered With 11 Herbs And Spices
Workers dredging a river to construct a walkway in Osaka, Japan may have inadvertently lifted one of the most notorious curses in all of sports, the mysterious 'Curse of the Colonel.'...
Tony Zendejas Free To Kick Again
The former NFL kicker has been acquitted in his rape trial. No joke, really, just thought you'd want to know how that turned out. [San Gabriel Valley Tribune]...
Meet Your New Dutch Baseball Overlords
The Dominican Republic, a team stacked from top to bottom with MLB talent, will not make it out of the first round of the World Baseball Classic because they couldn't handle the puny Netherlands....
Señor Jose Bettis' Old Fashioned Fire Juice
• It comes in smooth and chunky: Jerome Bettis now has his own premium tequila. It's the perfect shot for drunk driving school bus drivers. [PSAMP]...
So Much For LT Going Elsewhere
Rejoice, San Diegans. Ladainian Tomlinson will be around to spell Darren Sproles for the next three years. [AP]...
Butler Just Couldn't Dig Deep Enough To Pull Out A Victory
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
For Those Who Piss Intensity And Head Butt Coke Machines
Ron Zook's personal demo boat is for sale. It's the 2008 Malibu Response XLi — which can be yours for $51, 485. [MunsonSki]...
When the best team on your non-conference schedule is Syracuse, and the Orange beat you at home, you're not very good. Kudos to Memphis for finishing the regular season, but likewise I'm undefeated at ping pong down at the MorningWood Convalescence Home and my court mandated community service hours ...
This Boy Will Grow Up To Jeopardize His Job Security Due To Substance Abuse
Something tells me that this little boy won't be allowed to wear that jersey out in public anymore if Matt Jones continues his current career trajectory....
One Eye Appears To Not Be Living As Strongly As The Other
Lance Armstrong broke up the crowd at a recent press conference with his Cookie Monster impression. Oh, wait. No, he didn't. [Best Week Ever]...
Alex Smith Is Back, But Apparently In Disguise
Things don't usually work this way, but hey, we're in a recession. Alex Smith — once thought totally extinct in the wild — is back with the 49ers under a new, slimmer contract....
Radio Jockeys Make Horrible Jockeys
Two sports talk hosts racing each other on real thoroughbred horses seemed like a brilliant radio stunt, until one of them ended up in the ICU with bleeding on the brain. Oops. [Sun-Times]...
Get Ready To See DePaul (0-18 In Conference) In Your NCAA Tournament Bracket
Not really. But technically the Blue Demons (9-23 overall) are still alive for a March Madness bid after their first-round win over Cincinnati in the Big East Tournament. [NBCSports]...
This Terrell Owens Thing Is For Real, People
• Pinch me: You're not dreaming. It's T.O.'s new Buffalo locker. Or a future exhibit at the Clubhouse Cancer wing of the Smithsonian. [Mouthpiece Sports]...
Rick Reilly Doesn’t Appreciate Your Phony Twitter Feed
Love Twitter, do you? Think it's all the rage? Well, let me tell you a story about Twitter that will SHOCK AND ALARM YOU....
A Vasectomy, Frozen Peas, The NCAA Tournament And You
Quote: "I'd give my right nut to be able to skip work and watch the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament from my sofa." Um, be careful what you wish for....
Amaze Us With Your Obscure College Trivia
Selection Sunday is ... Sunday! That means we must begin the time-honored tradition of Deadspin's patent-pending NCAA Tournament Preview Capsules....
Tom Brady Wants To Be Your Superhero; Oh Yeaaahh
I could get behind Tom Brady appearing on an episode of Flight of the Conchords, or even Big Love (he'd fit right in). But this? Has Brady jumped the shark?...