p Page 6537 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gerald Wallace's Tour Bus Will Not Be Rocking (Because Of His Broken Lungs)
Gerald Wallace—still recovering from a collapsed lung—will make the 2,400-mile trip back to Charlotte on a bus. No word on if he will bring 12 drunk women in an effort to find true love. [AP]...
ONE FOOT DOWN
He only had one foot down! One foot! I'll get over this eventually. [The Will Leitch Experience]...
The Hype (And Hats) Of Signing Day
Hey, a bunch of high school kids are picking their colleges today, and I'm pretty certain that one kid you don't know is totally going to help you win an office pool some day....
The Sex Cannon Era in Chicago Appears To Be Over
That's what newly signed quarterback Brett Basanez seems to indicate. Or, rather, what the Bears have told him.[Mouthpiece Sports.com]...
Reggie Miller Thinks Knicks Fans Have Gone Soft
The "MVP" chants and the standing ovation Kobe received after his 61-point performance at MSG Monday night didn't set well with former Knick heel Reggie Miller....
Open Up Your Heart And Let National Signing Day Come In
The Jedi mind tricks and tempting team buffet of Charlie Weis have worked their magic once again, as highly-touted prep linebacker Manti Te'o of Hawaii has just committed to Notre Dame....
New York Rangers: Still Holding On To That '94 Cup?
Adam Graves has his number retired, which is great and all, but maybe someone should tell the Rangers that they don't have to wait 54 years to win another championship. [Daily News]...
Parents Beating Up Refs; How We've Missed You
This one comes from London, Ontario, and while I'm not sure what age the players are, I'm guessing they are mighty young. (I think it was Henry Kissinger who said that "hockey parents are so vicious, precisely because the players are so small.") The fight itself was largely uneventful—no charges wer...
Hoops Team Tries Performance-Enhancing "Suggestions"
A high school basketball coach in Kansas hypnotizes his struggling team; they win their next game by 10. Hey, it makes as much scientific sense as teaching evolution, am I right? [Wichita Eagle]...
Without Eternal Vigilance, It Could Happen Outside Of Your City College Women's Softball Practice
Santa Barbara police arrested a "middle-aged male" for masturbating in the parking lot where the Santa Barbara City College softball team was practicing. Carl Monday is not amused....
Troy Polamalu Once Again Stage Dives Into The Waiting Arms Of Sixburgh's Faithful
Yesterday's Super Bowl parade in Pittsburgh had the usual accoutrements: black and yellow wardrobes, Terrible Towel waving, and obnoxious yelling. But you don't often see a player give back as much as Troy Polamalu....
Take The Money And Run
Man in Steelers jacket robs Pittsburgh bank during Super Bowl victory parade. Is foiled when he and the money are sprayed with, appropriately, red dye. [Pittsburgh Post Gazette]...
(Update) ESPN: The High School
Remember Fame? The movie about a high school where kids dance in the street and make out with teachers instead of going to class? This is just like that, only with Chris Berman....
Canada Would Like To Invite You To The Rugged, Not-Gay World Of Male Figure Skating
Canada is trying to butch up figure skating's image with a controversial new marketing campaign that begins next month, in order to attract more boys to the sport. To which I say: Fabulous!...
If You Build It, Hot Dogs Will Be $3.50
• Is that James Earl Jones in the bleachers?: Kevin Costner is setting up a minor league baseball team in Illinois. But I don't see any players. [Sun-Times]...
Because Really, What Else Do You Need In The Afterlife?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]....
Really? You Think It Was Roid Rage, Mr. Torre?
Or was he super-angry because he just had four handfuls of Icy-Hot rubbed on his scrotum? You don't know for sure, Joe. [NYT]...
Today Is The 8th Anniversary Of The XFL
I wouldn't have remembered this at all had it not been for an email tipster, but it's amazing to look back and realize how surreal and fucked up Vince McMahon's "real" football league actually was....
Hey, Did You And I Just Buy Santonio Holmes A New Cadillac Escalade?
Whatever happened to the tradition of General Motors giving the Super Bowl MVP a new car? It happened; it's just that GM wanted to keep the presentation quiet this year. And for good reason....