p Page 6570 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sean Avery To Enjoy Nice Six-Game Vacation
In case you hadn't heard, Sean Avery's suspension has been downgraded from "forever" to six games—including two already served—meaning Elisha Cuthbert's honor should be safe for the next two weeks or so. More hilarious than the fact that a hockey player has been suspended for dirty talk is that he n...

College Football Preview: Why Conference Championships Suck Edition
Of all the ridiculous aspects of the BCS system, the conference championship game pisses me off more than any other because it points out the flagrant hypocrisy of the college presidents. In the same time period when they've fought a college football playoff because of the time it would add to the ...

SHOTY First Round: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Mike Singletary
Fridays are always good days for mismatches. Most of you have probably skipped out to do holiday shopping anyway — do they still sell the Tickle Me Elmo? — so it makes voting anomalies less likely....

Bernard Hopkins Not Exactly In Donovan McNabb's Corner
And now a few words from Bernard Hopkins, former middleweight and light heavyweight world champion, Philadelphia native (Germantown), prison guest and all-around badass. Subject: Donovan McNabb. Venue: KNBR-680 (San Francisco) radio, Thursday afternoon. Mood: Huffy. Key quote: "I wish the Wizard of ...

Cheeky Bloke Blags His Way To Footie Glory
I confess that I do not know a lot about soccer. Sure, I know some of the big names and will watch the occasional match in Spanish when flipping through obscure cable channels, but I don't pick up much of the nuance and detail that captivates the die hard enthusiast. So maybe some of the more enligh...

Philly Bluntness
So, not to get all sappy, but it would be really great if any of you Philly-based Deadspinners (or those from other parts of the country with kind souls) would take the time to read this piece about freelance journalist Brian Hickey. He's one of the smartest people on the planet, friend to many, a ...

Rudy Carpenter Still Having Trouble Behaving At Basketball Games
Folks may remember Arizona State quarterback Rudy Carpenter and his preference for not-gay pink shirts. Well, it seems that going psycho at college basketball games isn't enough juice for Rudy, so he took his act on the road—and recently got himself ejected from the gym at a girl's high school baske...

Matthew Berry, Daytime Thespian, Talks Dirty To Diamonds
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Meet Your New Washington Football Coach (Allegedly)
Coaches who follow in the debris-littered wake of Tyrone Willingham don't tend to fare well; just ask Buddy Teevens and Charlie Weis. But apparently Steve Sarkisian is willing to give it a shot, as ESPN and the Seattle Times are both reporting that his ascension to the head coaching position with th...

Morning Blogdome: You're A Good Man, Charlie Rogers
• Has anyone seen Mill Coleman lately?: A former Michigan State WR has been arrested and may be spending some time in jail. Fortunately, he should be able to escape through those bars because he has no collarbone. [World of Issac]...

At Illinois, No Jock Left Behind
Here is stately Wayne Manor The Irwin Academic Services Center at the University of Illinois. Here, Illini students can use computer labs and classrooms, schedule sessions with tutors and special counselors, and even relax in oversize leather chairs and gaze at expensive oriental rugs. Wait … you’re...

Oh, This Looks Like Fun
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

And Here Are Your Nominees For Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster of the Year
So the nominees for Playboy's 2009 Sexiest Sportscaster have been unveiled — 30 in all — and besides the usual suspects (Andrews, Lindsay Soto, Krista Voda), there are quite a few additions this year. One of which is Michelle Beisner of the NFL Network, who received unfortunate notoriety two years a...

OK Baby Mangino; Prepare For The Terrible Retribution Of Baby JoePa
As Baby Mangino stomps through the SHOTY competition leaving terror and thousands of empty Gerber jars in his wake, many were beginning to doubt that anything could stop him. We were looking for a hero, and now, at the 11th hour, we may have found one. Indroducing Baby JoePa, who, like the original,...

Plaxico Burress: Second Amendment Martyr
Well, here's a new take on the Plaxico situation. "Policy analyst" David Kopel has an editorial in today's Wall Street Journal, arguing that Plaxico Burress has been wronged. Not because he faces three-and-a-half years in Attica for what is essentially a victimless crime. (If you're not counting his...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you deal with your shortcomings ......

The Moonstruck, Rather Wacky Email From Jimmy Patsos To Kornheiser And Wilbon
Being a major college basketball coach is like taking a daily bath in crock pot set at 450; you live in your basketball world 24/7, eating and breathing the insanity until stuff like what you're about to read below slowly starts making sense. Following the jump is a rather remarkable letter from Loy...

Afternoon Blogdome: Mommy, What Does "Going Five-Hole" Mean?
• Two minutes in the box?: Fox Sports: The source you should turn to for all your hockey-based humping metaphors. [The Sporting Blog]...

Rickey Henderson Ready To Enter The Rickey Henderson Hall Of Fame
The Baseball Hall of Fame ballots are out and there's really only one player who seems certain to be inducted next summer—Rickey Henley Henderson. Rickey was one of the most ridiculous humans to ever play organized baseball, but Rickey was also one of the best all-around players ever and a constant ...

Jamboroo, Week 14. Featuring Enhanced TV Graphics, The Hollywood Knights, Anthrax, And The TPIR Mountain Climber
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available in stores and online here, and makes a lovely Christmas gift for the chronic masturbator in your life. You ...