p Page 6707 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

One Of Your Winners Tonight Could Be No. 1 Next Week
Going into tonight, the day's schedule of games appeared really ass-heavy with all of the big ranked-vs-ranked matchups scheduled to play out in prime time. But with the exciting finish of UNC-Miami, the Ole Miss upset over Florida, and now with Michigan coming from behind to stun Wisconsin, the lat...

HOLY CRAP! Phillies Win NL East On An Incredible Double Play
Jesus. Brad Lidge tried to give the entire city of Philadelphia a heart attack. In the top of the 9th with a two run lead, Lidge allowed a run to score and proceeded to load the bases. Jimmy Fucking Rollins made a ridiculous double play to clinch the National League East for the second straight year...

Nobody Can Resist Andre Berto
Tonight's HBO Boxing card might be headlined by Sugar Shane Mosley against the aged Matador, Ricardo Mayorga, but the real show will be the co-feature starring my very own man-crush, Andre Berto. The former ESPN prospect of the year is a prospect no more, now he's a dynamic welterweight with a belt...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while examining your dog's nose... • NCAA Football: Wisconsin @ Michigan (In Progress) [ABC] • NCAA Football: Mississippi State @ LSU (7:30 p.m. EST) [ESPN2] • NCAA Football: Alabama (8) @ Georgia (3) (7:45 p.m. EST) [ESPN] • NCAA Football: Illinois @ Penn State (8:00 p.m. EST) [ABC] •...

Hugh 3: Updating The Late Games
No. 9 Wisconsin 19, Michigan 0. Great play in the first half from Wisconsin on fourth-and-short where the punter ran up under center and used a hard count to draw Michigan offside to keep the Badgers' drive alive. Bret Bielema might be the most creative coach in America. And Michigan still sucks. Co...

Afternoon Blogdome: And Have A Party In Your Pink Cadillac
• What Recession?: Nothing says trying economic times like oil tycoons, bankers, high priced escorts, and F1 racing ... In Singapore! "'This is the best weekend this year,' Prince Wong, owner of Singapore Escort Services said" [SportsByBrooks] • It Really Tied the Bus Shelter Together: ESPN must hav...

Recapping The Nooners: Jevan Snead Will Eat Your Babies
Ole Miss 31, Florida 30. NOOOOOOO!!! TEEEBOOOOOOOW!! TEEEBOOOOOOOWW!! NOOOOOO!!! Nutt. Snead threw for 185 yards, thew two TDs, ran for another, cured AIDS and created the first perpetual motion machine. Tebow couldn't find a rhythm in the face of the Rebels' pass rush, and the two Sunshine State sc...

Olympic Gold Medalist Challenges Chad Ochocinco to Race
Dominating one sport isn't enough anymore for today's athletes. Apparently, if you're a professional football player, specifically an egomaniacal receiver, you think your skills translate to other venues. Chad Johnson wanted to race against Michael Phelps in the pool — not to mention a horse on a tr...

Hugh 2: UNC Steals TD Pass, Game From Miami
UNC defensive back Tremaine Goddard ripped Miami's game-winning touchdown out of the hands of Kayne Farquharson in the end zone. Farquharson had the ball (and the game) on his hands, only to have it pilfered by Goddard to save the game for the Tar Heels, 28-24. Almost as unreal as the video of a Hur...

Hull City's Shocking Upset Knocks Arsenal Off the Top of the Table
Absolutely nobody could have possibly seen this result coming. The Tigers of Hull City are officially the biggest surprise of the new Premier League season, especially after their eye-opening 2-1 victory over Arsenal, at Emirates Stadium no less. The Gunners took a 1-0 lead shortly after the half o...

Torry Holt Would Like to Apologize for Sucking
First Steven Jackson was totally not happy with Rams' head coach Scott Linehan's decision to bench Marc Bulger in favor of Trent Green. Former All Pro and now mediocre wide receiver Torry Holt is the latest to voice his displeasure with the whole situation. He just wants to play some football, "It w...

Elway Engaged To Former Raiderette
Former Denver Broncos superstar John Elway is engaged—to a former Raiders cheerleader. Traitor bastard! Paige Green, a 41-year-old that Elway met at a golf tournament three years ago, moved to Denver a year after she met the NFL Hall-Of-Famer. John presumably celebrated the engagement in typical Elw...

Dueling Squirt-Guns to the Death
The following is a tale of assassins, of deception, of high speed car chases, balloon grenades, and of guns — lethal guns filled with vicious H20. It's no surprise that the participants of StreetWars, a water pistol competition operated by a "Shadow Government," are described as mostly being in thei...

HUGH I: Uh Oh, Clemson Has Decided To Show Up This Week
Something strange happened on the way to Death Valley this afternoon—Clemson woke up. Tommy Bowden must have decided that this would be the one ACC game where he would actually prepare his team. C.J. Spiller ripped off a 35-yard run, while the Tiger defense managed a goal-line stand to hold the Terp...

Racing Enthusiast, Actor, Badass, Paul Newman Dies at 83
Unlike many of the coddled stars in Hollywood today, Paul Newman was a badass long before making it big on the silver screen. He was a regular old military guy who joined the Navy and served in WWII after getting kicked out of Ohio University for "unruly behavior." Having been in the movie business ...

Laundry To Play Somewhat Prominent Role In Big Games
Georgia is whipping out the (yawn) black jerseys for their game against the Crimson Tide tonight, which I guess is fine, if you don't get worked up about the concept of landscaping or the lineage of dogs. Penn State, kicking off their conference slate tonight against Illinois, will be wearing their ...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Leave the Ball, Take a Walk to the Dugout
• 12:00 — Golf: PGA Tour Championship [NBC] - Kim vs. Sergio for a Ryder Cup rematch. • 12:00 — College Football: Michigan State @ Indiana [ESPN] - Unfortunately, this is not a basketball game. • 1:00 — College Football: Wisconsin (9) @ Michigan [ABC] • 1:10 — MLB: Marlins @ Mets [MLB.tv] - Forecast...

Fulmer Death Watch: Tennessee Can't Get Itself Untangled
In the midst of all the fellating of the Southeastern Conference this football season, we've lost track of how badly Tennessee is slipping out of the national profile. They blew a game against UCLA on national TV to start the year and were crushed by Florida. And now the future appears shaky; they'v...

Tampa Bay Rays Win AL East in Fitting Fashion
• Tigers 6, Rays 4 The Rays lost to the Tigers last night but that didn't prevent fans on Main Street in Tampa from celebrating. With the Yankees putting up 19 runs to beat the Red Sox at Fenway, Tampa Bay clinched their first ever American League East crown. One more time: The Tampa Bay Rays are th...

Hunter Cant(Throw)Well Serves Up Pick-Six, Cards Mucked Again
After their 26-21 loss to Big East rival UConn, the Louisville Cardinals' short run as a nationally prominent football program seems to be winding down. First-year starting quarterback Hunter Cantwell threw a pick-six in the last three minutes of their game last night, snatching defeat from the prov...