people Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Insensitive NFL Sells Brett Favre Dog Jerseys!
OMG, you guys! Can you believe the Minnesota Vikings are such cold heartless bastards that they would profit off the pain of animals by selling personalized dog jerseys! It's almost like they don't care how ridiculous your pets look!...

Old Folks And Steroids Is Apparently A Problem Now
PED use among our elderly athletes: are we overreacting to an appropriate degree, or could we stand to overreact even more?...

Fart-Gate Scandal Blown Wide Open
After what seems like decades of secrecy and lies, America demands to know: Who cut the cheese? Now we may finally have our answer. The conspiracy goes far deeper than any of us could have imagined....and it really stinks....

The One Good Thing About Tom Watson Losing The British Open
If there's one silver lining to Tom Watson's agonizing 2nd place finish at the British Open yesterday, it's that we are now spared from old people suddenly thinking they are somehow useful again....

North Korean Heir Is Basically That Guy You Knew In 1996 Who Always Wore A Toni Kukoc Jersey
The presumptive heir to North Korean crazy person Kim Jong Il and all his crappy missiles is a brooding 26-year-old who apparently loves basketball in general and a certain Croatian point-forward in particular....

Fox's Marketing Ploy May Have Been More Evil Than Previously Thought
It's bad enough that stupid Yuppie Gollum was nothing but a promotional stunt, but this is so much worse: A reader reports that Yuppie Gollum wasn't even at the All-Star Game. I'll let that sink in....

Nancy Boys Play Like ... Well, Nancy Boys
Look, when you play for a soccer team from a town named Nancy, headlines like this are inevitable. (What editor could resist?) Especially when you run away from swine flu like a team of little girls. [ESPN]...

Yes, This Creepy Person Was a Marketing Ploy By Fox
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

The Sad, Hilarious Tale Of Elvis Grbac, 1998's "Sexiest Athlete Alive"
This is an epically comical story courtesy of SI's Jeff Pearlman, that includes the following absurd characters: Rich Gannon, Elvis Grbac, the Kansas City Chiefs, and a dim-witted People magazine photographer. Prepare to feel life-long sympathy for Grbac....

Florida Gators' Go-To Lawyer Has Some Issues Of His Own
The Orlando Sentinel, still tub-thumping about those miscreant Gators, has profiled attorney Huntley Johnson, who often handles the players' legal run-ins. What the paper doesn't mention: Johnson once suggested that his secretary "get down" on his "hog" and "honk it."...

And This Is What Shows Up In Your Inbox The Day After You Do A Post About Transexual Filipino Basketball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Yankee Stadium Doesn't Want Any Of You Smelly Riff-Raff Troubling The Rich Folk
If you want a human face to put on the new, already-insufferable Yankee Stadium, you'll find none better than the smirking man at left. Meet Lonn Trost, a man of lordly disdain for the not-rich....

Meet Freddie Mitchell's Online Bodyguard: Alfred Luckerbauer
Any news about Freddie Mitchell at this point is sad and strange, so it's not surprising that the people who staunchly support him would be people like this man: Alfred Luckerbauer, proprietor of this site....

Jason Whitlock's Getting Antsy Again
Jason Whitlock, Fox Sports' professional contrarian and TRUTH-teller, playfully addresses Matt Vasgersian's MLB announcer awkwardness and declares himself "Racial Apology Czar." Oh, and he attacks Deadspin again....

Is That You, Scalabrine?
Cedric Maxwell has a stalker: "[H]e followed me home the other night. He says he's been hearing voices and that the voices are telling him he needs to play for the Celtics." [Boston Globe]...

Volleyball Fainter Is Fine, Thanks For Asking
Watching Nikki Allen, USC's director of volleyball operations, talk...stagger...sway...timmm-ber!...is a vintage YouTubian moment which will undoubtedly follow her around for years. Thankfully, she's fine — she was just a little nervous and jet-lagged....

Woman Faints During Live TV Interview
A local TV interview with the organizer of a beach volleyball tournament goes horribly awry. (There's a sentence I never thought I'd write.) To be fair, beach volleyball makes everyone light headed. [WMBB]...

The NCAA Will Snatch The Baby Jesus Right Out Of Your Hands
Viewers of the Ohio State-Siena game may have noticed a proselytizing attention whore with a John 3:16 sign. But did you see an NCAA security guard snatch it? One eagle-eyed viewer did; roll the tape....

Freddie Mitchell Just Can't Catch A Break
The fantastical world of Freddie Mitchell has been uneventful recently, but he made news for all the wrong reasons after Lakeland, Fla. police accused him of having pot delivered to his Brothers Bar-B-Q restaurant....

Morning Blogdome: Another Feather In Jose's Cap
Jose Canseco fought Danny Bonaduce to a draw in what some observers are calling a boxing match. Maybe next time they shouldn't schedule against Mosley-Margarito and Emelianenko-Arlovski. Or better yet, no next time. [Wax Heaven]...