people Page 93 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Joel Przybilla's Extended Family Is Not Cool With David Stern's Stupid Fines
Portland Trailblazer Joel Przybilla was fined $7,500 for this altercation with Tyson Chandler last week. For comment on this momentous national story, the media naturally turned to the 83-year-old grandmother of Przybilla's wife....
It Takes A Village To Organize A Bowl Game
It's never been more obvious that the college bowl system as we know it is in trouble; now they're marketing the games like minor league baseball. And so, enter: The Village People....
The Death Of The Black Quarterback. Jamboroo, Week 3
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," released October 27th and featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. Wi...
Cubs Chase Old Man Off Their Lawn
Awhile ago we told you the story of Leo Hildebrand, the 104-year-old Cubs fan whose one big wish was to throw out the first pitch for a game at Wrigley Field. Of course he'd probably need a relay man, and a diaper change to complete the task. But still, how could the Cubs deny the only person in Chi...
Another Senseless Streaking Tragedy
Nathan Roberts is a player on the Virginia B Grade Australian soccer team, but is sidelined due to "fluid in his lungs, pneumonia and an inflamed liver and spleen." This didn't stop him from streaking at a recent match between United and Hummocks Watchman Eagles, however. Watch the fun here as Robe...
After 21 Months Living in the Trees, Cal-Berkeley Tree Protesters Removed
Yeah, 21 months. The protest began when Cal announced that they were planning a $124 million dollar expansion of athletic facilities just outside their football stadium. The tree-sitters decided the 42 campus trees had to be protected and have been living in their branches ever since. For almost two...
Roman Abramovich's Fantasy Football Team Is Better Than Yours
Apparently Roman Abramovich doesn't like being first runner-up. After completing the silver sweep last season—finishing second in the Premier League, the Carling Cup, and the Champions League—the Russian billionaire owner of Chelsea FC responded by purchasing half of the Portuguese-speaking world. F...
No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters
I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woroni...
Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...
When Jelly Wrestling Gets Ugly
Normally I wouldn't deign to write about such a mindless activity as collegiate jelly wrestling, but this story is way too good to pass up. The Daily Mail (via Unprofessional Foul) comes the story of a Cambridge lass who took a match of jelly wrestling a bit too seriously....
Naked People Are Stridently Anti-Willie Randolph
We don't deal with a lot of public relations people around here, which is one of the many pleasures of writing on the Internets. (For now.) But for some reason, we are on the mailing list for Rick's Cabaret in New York City — we don't know why! Swear! — and we received the following email today: "RI...
And Now For News That Isn't Fair
The gal on the left there, her name is Adriana Lima. (Just in case you wanted a name to go with the wet dream later on.) The guy on the right is some kind of basketball player named Marko Jaric. One of them has about 8½ million Google searches. The other, not even 200 grand. Hopefully Ms. Lima signs...
Erick Strickland Still Catering To The Big, Rich
Lenny Dykstra, who — despite what Jim Cramer and Bernard Goldberg try to tell you — is not a financial genius, might have failed with his catering-to-rich-people venture, but former NBAer Erick Strickland, seen here in the great Mavericks jersey of old, is doing better for himself....
The Size Of Zyg Gregorek's Boat Is Just Fine, Thanks
If you're searching for the world's greatest fisherman look no further. And here I thought it was the guy on the Gorton's fishsticks box. Anyway, a British angler has caught nine species of shark, including the great white, which led some international organization of big-game fishermen to dub him t...
Deadspin Vs. Cat Lady. Let's Watch The Fun
It seems that Deadspin readers have been naughty once again. On Friday many of you infiltrated The Animal Advocate blog comments section, and hilarity, as they say, ensued. But like most parties around here, things may have gone a little too far. Iracane has been notified and a full investigation is...
About Last Night...
What you missed while decrying the gov'mint's invasive sandcastle fines......
You, Too, Could Be Tiger Woods' Neighbor
We close out a surprisingly busy Thursday with a little bit of class envy. It's tastes good, and is good for you. Kid-tested, mother-approved....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while looking over unfortunate headlines......
Hey, What Else Are You Going To Use A Backyard For?
This is what Crystal Meth will do to you. So be careful, kids....