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Romelu Lukaku Stretchered Off After Brutal Head-To-Head Collision
Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku was stretchered off the pitch early in the first half today after a nasty-looking head-to-head collision with Southampton centre back Wesley Hoedt. It didn’t look like much in real time, but the angle on this review shows the crown of Hoedt’s head squared up w...

Jack Wilshere Is Still Alive And Still Capable Of Hitting Beautiful Passes
Today, geriatric 25-year-old Jack Wilshere managed to avoid doing a few typical Jack Wilshere things (like getting sent off for a dumb tackle or injuring himself while charging into a dumb tackle or serving a suspension for a previous sending off in the aftermath of a dumb tackle) just long enough t...

Jesse Lingard Saved Manchester United's Ass Once Again, And That Is A Problem
Jesse Lingard is a lot of things. He is incredibly smart, hardworking, almost perfect when it comes to executing his tactical role, versatile, a savvy mover, a nifty finisher in and around the box, great at link-up play, and, in his humility and professionalism, an exemplary figure for all homegrown...

Another Harry Kane Hat Trick Gave Him The Record For Most Premier League Goals In A Year
Tottenham striker Harry Kane broke out of a “slump”—two games without any goals—over the weekend, singlehandedly obliterating Burnley by scoring all three of his team’s goals. That hat trick tied the Premier League’s greatest ever scorer, Alan Shearer, for his record of 36 goals in a calendar year, ...

Rio Ferdinand Still Gets Hella Hyped Watching Manchester United Play
Rio Ferdinand hasn’t played professional soccer since 2015, and he hasn’t suited up for Manchester United since the year before that, but as this clip of his exuberant celebrations while covering United’s recent thrilling win over Arsenal proves, he remains very much invested in the goings on at Old...
![Police Arrest Man Suspected Of Racial Hate Crime Against Raheem Sterling [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/tzurl07ibf1e2ml5tbpq.jpg)
Police Arrest Man Suspected Of Racial Hate Crime Against Raheem Sterling [Updated]
After Manchester City’s home win over Tottenham this past weekend, the Telegraph reported that City forward Raheem Sterling had been called a “nigger” and then kicked by an unknown man when Sterling was on his way to the stadium before the game. Today, Manchester police arrested the man they suspect...

Nothing Could Stop Mohamed Salah From Scoring This Goal
Freewheeling, fun Liverpool are beating up on Bournemouth* with yet another offensive explosion, and they ended a three-goal first half with a brilliant goal from Mohamed Salah, whose single-minded run through the box just overwhelmed his pair of defenders....

Wilfried Zaha Has Finally Arrived
Wilfried Zaha was supposed to hit the big time five years ago. At 20 years old, the Crystal Palace striker had already racked up over 100 appearances in the English second tier, and he caught the eye of Manchester United. In 2013, the Red Devils signed him for a reported 10 million pounds....

Chicharito And Pablo Zabaleta Crack Each Other Up With Jokes They Don't Understand
For evidence of the contagious nature of laughter, just watch this video of Spanish-speaking West Ham players Javier Hernández and Pablo Zabaleta telling each other pun-heavy jokes in English. Note how they and you, the viewer, melt into giggly puddles even though they very clearly don’t have the sl...

Sadio Mané Really Fucked Up
Sadio Mané isn’t the sole reason Liverpool failed to beat Everton in a match they completely controlled everywhere except on the scoresheet. You could and probably should blame the referee for awarding Everton an exceptionally soft penalty from which the Toffees scored their only good chance of the ...

They Should Probably Just Give Manchester City The Premier League Title Already
The best big games are clarifying. They’re matches in which the enormity of the moment can turn anyone watching into a fidgeting mess, and in which both teams are given the opportunity to match the game’s magnitude with a peak performance. The moment elevates the performances rather than engulfs it,...

Report: Someone Threw A Pint Of Milk At Jose Mourinho During City-United Dust-Up
Manchester City beat Manchester United 2-1 at Old Trafford yesterday, and apparently, as City were celebrating after the game in the visitors’ locker room, United manager Jose Mourinho took exception to some of the noise—which the visitors then took exception to in hilarious, milky fashion....

Jürgen Klopp Throws Extended Temper Tantrum Over Late Everton Penalty
Wayne Rooney slammed home a late penalty today to bring underdog Everton even with Liverpool, in what would eventually be a 1-1 draw. No penalty has ever been given in the history of soccer without the penalized side being fucking apoplectic, but this one, well, judge for yourself:...

David de Gea Beat Arsenal All By Himself
Manchester United beat Arsenal this weekend by a 3-1 scoreline that totally belied the action on the field. United didn’t really deserve to win, in the sense people mean when they say teams that impose their will on their opponent by doing lots of good things while preventing the opposition from doi...

Tony Pulis Has Once Again Lost His Job For Being Too Good At It
When Tony Pulis was named West Brom manager back in January of 2015, the club gave him a single task—one he’s demonstrated for years to be better at accomplishing than practically anyone in English soccer: keep the team in the Premier League, and make sure they stay there. In his just about three ye...

Arsenal Remind Everyone They Can Still Be A Force To Be Reckoned With
I can’t tell if it is an overly harsh reaction to what was a commanding performance in one of the biggest matches of the season so far, or if it is instead a perfectly justifiable reflex in light of this club’s constant yo-yoing between underachieving and ascendency, but the main feeling I was left ...

Manchester United Scout Journeys To Iceland To See Game Being Played In Qatar<em></em>
Iceland and the Czech Republic met yesterday for a friendly match, which the Czechs won 2-1 over Thor’s Mighty World Cup-Bound Soccer Raiders. The current international break is replete with friendlies scattered around the world, and as such, major clubs have sent their scouts to go check them out. ...

Manchester City Are So Much Better Than Everyone Else
The international break comes at a great time for Manchester City. They’re now coming off two consecutive Premier League matches in which they haven’t quite been able to maintain the peak altitudes they’ve hit at times during this soaring season of theirs—a relative slippage they most likely chalk u...

West Ham Set To Give David Moyes Another Chance To Fail
West Ham, despite having no reason to, have sucked for the better part of a year now. Because of this, today they’ve finally decided to fire manager Slaven Bilić. Probably a smart move. What probably isn’t a smart move is entrusting this squad of very talented attackers to David Moyes, an old, stodg...

Raheem Sterling Is Becoming The Player He Was Always Meant To Be
Raheem Sterling is a gem. He has been one of the best wide attackers in the Premier League for about five years now, boasts an athleticism and technical ability and intelligence that makes 99 percent of his peers look like stodgy goons by comparison, regularly heaps on goals and assists at a much qu...