premier Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Are Enjoying The Hell Out Of This Chelsea Collapse
Four points from five matches! Making Steven Naismith look like Neymar! Already as many Ls this season as in all of last year! The worst defense in the whole league! One result away from the goddamn relegation zone! We can’t get enough!...
Benteke Scores Overhead Volley Wondergoal; Liverpool Lose Anyway
Wow! Christian Benteke almost made today’s Manchester United-Liverpool match competitive! He certainly gave Old Trafford one of its best highlights in years, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the Red Devils, who took a 3-1 victory....
Manchester United Don't Know Who They Are
It’s tough to make sense of the freighter plane full of cash Manchester United dispatched to Monaco on deadline day, seemingly out of the blue (but not spurred by panic! they are certainly not panicking!), in exchange for relatively little-known French forward prospect Anthony Martial. It would be e...
Pissed-Off Saido Berahino Swears To Never Play Another Game For West Brom
This is why you should’ve just taken the money, man....
The Botched David de Gea Transfer Was A Glorious Clusterfuck
Transfer deadline day is always liable to turn up a couple shockers, either in completed deals from out of nowhere or transfers that appear imminent only to collapse right before the crossing of the final T. Real Madrid’s failed attempted to buy David de Gea from Manchester United is one of the latt...
Have Manchester City <i>Really</i> Wrapped Up The Premier League Title Already?
Is this real life? We thought it was something last year when Chelsea became champions-elect by the start of November, but sweet Jesus, we’re only four games into the new season and it already looks nearly certain that Manchester City will lift the Premier League trophy come May....
Little Kid's Mind Blown Upon Realizing He's Standing Next To Wayne Rooney
“Doot-da-doo, just waiting to go out on the pitch with Ashley Williams. Man, this is pretty cool. Oops, ref coming through I better get out of the—wait a minute... is that... HOLY SCHNIKES!!!!” Here’s a Vine of lil dude’s happiest moment in life:...
Callum Wilson Overhead Kick Gives Bournemouth Lead On Leicester City
We noted here that AFC Bournemouth had the potential to be one of the Premiership’s most exciting clubs this season, and the Cherries haven’t let us down—with Callum Wilson’s acrobatic overhead kick putting his side up 1-0 in the first half today against Leicester City....
Are Everton Really Dumb Enough To Turn Down Tons Of Money For John Stones?
John Stones is a promising English center back currently playing for Everton, who’s pretty good and has every chance to get better. His talent, youth, potential, position, and Englishness all make him a very hot and very valuable commodity. (Word to Raheem Sterling.) But apparently out of some misgu...
Manchester United Still Don't Realize They're Not Manchester United Anymore
It’s kind of cute, if in a sad sort of way. Manchester United, once the biggest name in the game, chasing after superstars in the press like a giddy child racing after lightning bugs in the night, hoping to nab one or two like the big clubs can but knowing deep down that it won’t actually happen....
These Two Petr Čech Saves Are The Best Saves
Arsenal are hosting Liverpool today in the Premier League, and through one half, the Gunners look like complete and utter bullcrap against the visitors. It’s remarkable how many players in Arsenal’s starting XI appear to be betting against their team on the same day. And yet—and yet!— it’s still sco...
Reluctant Mascot Is Reluctant
We don’t blame you, kid. Nobody wants to shake a referee’s hand. ...
Man, Mario Balotelli Is Going Through Some Shit
Here are three things that have happened to exiled Liverpool and Italian national team striker Mario Balotelli in the last day or so:...
Manchester City Stake Their Claim As The Premier League's Best Team
You wouldn’t exactly describe it as a shock. It was Manchester City, after all. Winners of two of the last four Premier League titles; armed with the best goalscorers in the country; with one of its twistiest, most creative talents; newly infused with the precocious abilities of England’s most promi...
Mario Balotelli Does Lots Of Dumb Things, So Liverpool Want No Part Of Him
Liverpool have pretty obviously been trying to offload the mercurial and misfiring Mario Balotelli for months now. And while we haven’t yet seen the kind of public outbursts we’re used to when Balo has previously overstayed his welcome, the Independent has a rundown of previously unreported incident...
Here's José Mourinho's Bullshit Excuse For Why He Demoted His Team Doctor
Earlier this week, José Mourinho demoted Chelsea’s long-serving team doctor, days after he publicly showed her up during a game last weekend. He’s rightly come in for criticism for the decision, so now “sources close” to him have concocted an excuse for the change: the players didn’t feel comfortabl...
José Mourinho Demotes Team Doctor After Blowing Up Her Spot On Pitch
Eva Carneiro, the long-serving Chelsea first team doctor, has been a staple of the team’s matches over the years, rushing out onto the pitch as the first responder to any and all of their injuries. It’s very likely that one such attempt to treat a player on the field last weekend will be her last, h...
West Ham Fan Keeps Word, Gets Ass Tattoo To Commemorate Win Over Arsenal
Arsenal, this year’s sexy pick to Do Some Things in England’s Premier League this year, kicked off their campaign yesterday at home against West Ham. What follows is a story in two tweets:...
Liverpool Beat Stoke Thanks To Lightning Strike From Coutinho
Philippe Coutinho’s rocket from outside the box proved to be the deciding goal in today’s 1-0 Liverpool win over Stoke, and is more likely than not to hold up as the Premiership’s golazo of the opening week....