premier Page 43 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jose Mourinho Is In Midseason Form As Chelsea Barely Survive Swansea
Chelsea opened their Premier League title defense today with a topsy turvy 2-2 draw against Swansea City. As you can see, Jose Mourinho ain’t too happy about it. Our staff of amateur lip readers concurs that he’s dropping a “Fuck off Michael!”—directed towards referee Michael Oliver—but you could ma...

Wooooosh
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The First Goal Of The Premier League Season Is ... An Own Goal
Here it is, the day we’ve all been waiting for: the return of the EPL. Manchester United-Tottenham is our opener, and though Spurs started brightly, all their good work was undone thanks to a terrible pass by Nabil Bentaleb. It wasn’t the prettiest season-christening goal, but we’ll take it....

The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-impo...

The Uncomfortable Middle: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
For the American sports fan, following soccer means a reorientation about what constitutes success. With the success of the top teams reinforced by Champions League appearances and an enhanced global profile, there is a virtuous cycle to being good that makes it even harder to break into the top. At...

Starting From The Bottom: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 1
PREMIER LEAGUE BACK....

Some Guy Simulated 1,000 Seasons Into The Future In <i>Football Manager</i>
Everybody knows that the true joy of playing Football Manager is getting a decade or so into the future and seeing the new Messis and Ronaldos and Mourinhos and Guardiolas come and go. Reddit user “Lorf_Yimzo” took this to its logical conclusion, setting up a save in England, simulating into the yea...

José Mourinho Is Shitting On Managers Again, Which Means Soccer's Back!
We’ve seen preseason play and preseason brawls, and now that José Mourinho has broken out the ol’ charcoal grill and laid on a couple thick slabs of Arsène Wenger and Manuel Pellegrini tenderloin, the aroma of preseason beef means the Premier League season is just around the corner....

Raheem Sterling Is Making Bank Because England Sucks
Raheem Sterling is already, at just 20 years of age, a damn good player, with every chance to become great. This obviously and understandably makes him a very valuable asset, as his now official English-record transfer and new salary attest. What he isn’t is £180,000 a week good. His mix of current ...

Liverpool Don't Deserve Raheem Sterling
Here’s our daily exercise in keeping competing thoughts in our heads at the same time. European soccer has become player ruled. Particularly in the post-Chelsea, post-Manchester City era, there’s more money sloshing around in the top league than many entire nations. There’s no loyalty to club and no...

Premier League Starlet Pictured Passed Out In Middle Of The Road
Jack Grealish, the 19-year-old future-stud winger for Aston Villa, had a season to be proud of. He broke into the first team, becoming a regular starter by the end of the season, and impressed enough to be linked with bigger teams. To celebrate, it appears he got lit up in Spain, concluding at least...
![Leicester City Stars Film "Depraved" Orgy Featuring Racial Slurs [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/b9sl4h0xmpo1iulf7ejl.jpg)
Leicester City Stars Film "Depraved" Orgy Featuring Racial Slurs [NSFW]
Leicester City players James Pearson, Tom Hopper, and Adam Smith are under fire after video of a strange orgy during the team’s recent end-of-season trip to Thailand has made its way public....

José Mourinho Burns Premier League Rivals In Funny Award Speech
Nobody does smug satisfaction better than this guy. Even if this was obviously written by someone else, it’s that textbook José Mourinho delivery that makes it all worthwhile....

Dumb People Upset Championship Sunday Is Pre-Empting Their Reruns
Among the great things NBC has done since acquiring the Premiership rights in the U.S. is to air all ten matches of the final day of the season on the broad spectrum of NBC Universal-owned networks. That includes Syfy, Esquire, Oxygen, Bravo, and other networks that are usually airing some kind of g...

Jack Wilshere Rips Massive Half-Volley From Outside The Box
Arsenal are having an easy final day of the campaign against West Brom, and the Emirates crowd came to its feet for the Gunners’ third goal, a rocket half-volley off the boot of Jack Wilshere. ...

Drogba Carried Off By Teammates In Final Chelsea Match
Didier Drogba announced today’s match against Sunderland would be his last in a Chelsea uniform. After suffering an early “injury,” the Ivorian earned a hero’s treatment as his teammates lifted him up to carry him off the pitch....

Bored Dummy Cesc Fàbregas Kicks Ball Into West Brom Player's Head
C’mon, Cesc. If you’re gonna pick a fight with someone, you gotta get up in his face. Don’t sit back and kick the ball at him like a little turd. (That being said, good aim, though.)...

Phil Jones Falling Down Chasing The Ball Is A Blast In Extreme Slow-Mo
Manchester United drew 1-1 with Arsenal yesterday in a battle of clubs fighting for third place in the Premiership, and the desire to win drove Man United defender Phil Jones to the ground in search of a ball that was just a bit too elusive—no matter how much crawling it took. But even from his hand...

England Has Been Invaded By Giant Insects
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