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Wayne Rooney Knocked Out Of Match With Gruesome Leg Gash [UPDATE]
Fulham's Hugo Rodallega landed upon Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney's leg in stoppage time of Man U's 3-2 win today and sliced open Rooney's leg, forcing him to be carted off in another blow to the Red Devils' corps....

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....

Newcastle's First Goal On The Season Was This Curling Strike From Demba Ba
Demba Ba was slow to start his 2011-2012 campaign and then disappeared entirely from Newcastle United's scoresheet after the month of February. It deprived us glorious goals like this one he scored against Manchester United in February....

Premier League Teams Are Hemorrhaging Money, And TV Revenue Sharing Could Be To Blame
Here's some not-so-great news on the heels of a thrilling end to the Premier League—no one's making any money. Actually, that's not true—five teams turned a profit in 2010-2011, the last season for which financials are available. But despite a record $3.6 billion income, the 20 Premier League clubs ...

Indian Cricket Squad Celebrates Backdoor Playoff Berth With Terrifying Homage To Goatse
There's a lot to lose in translation when it comes to cricket, but this much we know: this picture, posted on facebook, is terrifying. "Nightmare fuel" is not something to be bandied about, but I feel confident in its application here....

Reconstructing The Most Exciting Day In The History Of Soccer (And Maybe Sports, Period)
The final day of the 2011 MLB regular season enchanted us with its insanity; its events became a video game montage and inspired its own tag here on Deadspin. That day, however, only determined which teams would gain entry to the playoffs. By comparison, Sunday's final day of the English Premier ...

Carlos Tevez Happily Wields "R.I.P. Fergie" Sign At Man City's Parade
After a miracle at Etihad, two goals in stoppage time, gave City its first title since 1968, the team today celebrated with a parade. The trophy was carried through the streets of Manchester on an open-top bus, attended by delirious fans and at least one jubilant forward who does not forgive or forg...

Fergie's Got A Feeling Tonight's Gonna Be A Bad Night
Here's a helpless Man United manager Sir Alex Ferguson receiving the news of Man City's miracle to rip the Premiership title from his hands yesterday, something we'll cover in much more detail later as befitting the insanity that was the final day of action in England's top division....

Here's The Joey Barton Meltdown From Today's Stunning Manchester City Comeback
Before we got to the dramatic finish, QPR's Joey Barton provided some initial fireworks after getting sent off for an "off-the-ball incident involving Carlos Tevez."...

Manchester City Scores Two Goals In Added Time Against QPR To Snag EPL Title From Manchester United
On one of the more dramatic endings you'll likely see, Manchester City ripped the EPL Title from the hands of Manchester United after scoring two goals, the last of which you see here by Sergio Aguero, in stoppage time for its first EPL title in 44 years....

Today's Blackburn-Wigan Match Was Interrupted By A Chicken
Blackburn Rovers are facing relegation from the Premiership, and need a win against WIgan Athletic today to even have a chance at staying in England's top soccer division. Perhaps as a statement against absentee owners, a chicken bearing the Blackburn flag was unleashed onto the pitch early in to...

Clint Dempsey's 50th Premiership Goal Was Fittingly Beautiful
Clint Dempsey's outstanding run of form this season continued this morning as he opened the scoring of today's Fulham-Sunderland match with a fantastic free kick goal, his 50th in the English Premier League....

This Week In Guys Losing Their Lunch On The Soccer Pitch
It has been an unfortunate week for gentlemen suffering gastrointestinal distress on the soccer pitch, as at least two professional stars displayed their athletic acumen—and their lunch—before what we assume was a grossed-out television audience....

Papiss Cissé Enters His Bid For Premiership Goal Of The Season
Newcastle won its first match at Stamford Bridge since 1986 with a shocker of a 2-0 victory over Chelsea, keyed by Papiss Cissé's two goals—the second of which is a strong challenger to Peter Crouch for EPL goal of the season....

Fabrice Muamba Returned To Reebok Stadium For Today's Bolton-Tottenham Match
Six weeks after suffering the cardiac arrest that stopped his heart for 78 minutes, Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba returned to greet fans and players for today's Bolton-Tottenham Hotspur match at Reebok Stadium. It's fitting for him to come back today, as it was at the Spurs' White Hart Lane Mua...

Roberto Mancini Told Sir Alex Ferguson To Shaddap You Face
It figured that tempers would flare a few times during yesterday's pivotal Manchester derby, but perhaps the greatest drama took place outside the touch lines when City manager Roberto Mancini and United chief Alex Ferguson got into a chippy war of words that took several attempts to separate by as...

That Fan Who Hugged Luis Suarez Treated The Crowd To A Great Big Wanking Motion Before Mooning Everybody
On Saturday, we showed you footage of Liverpool's Luis Suarez clinching a hat trick by scoring from 45 yards out against Norwich City. Some 30 seconds into that clip, you might have noticed what looked like a fan in street clothes making his way onto the pitch to hug Suarez. What you see above is ...

"I'd Rather Drink Methamphetamine," And Other Complaints About Soccer Being On ESPN
City's thrilling 1-0 win over Man United in today's Manchester Derby drew acclaim as a groundbreaking moment in broadcasting; the first-ever Premier League weekday game to air on ESPN (as opposed to ESPN2) earned on-air hype and plenty of attention on the Worldwide Leader's website. ...

Luis Suarez Finished A Hat Trick With An Unbelievably Stupid Shot From Just Past Midfield
Liverpool striker and alleged racist Luis Suarez capped off a hat trick against Norwich City today with a ridiculous, stupid strike from 45 yards out. We use the words "ridiculous" and "stupid" here unironically. For him to take this shot with an nearly open pitch in front of him (and teammate St...

Manchester United Blew A Two-Goal Lead With Ten Minutes Left To Hold Open The Premiership Door
A win over Everton today would have virtually assured Manchester United yet another Premier League championship—and given the Red Devils were playing at home against a team that has never beaten them in the EPL hasn't won an EPL match at Old Trafford in 20 years, it should have been a lock....