premier Page 59 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Demba Ba Drew First Blood For Newcastle Against Man U With This Fantastic Volley
In a week that's belonged to the giant-killers, Newcastle's aiming to be the next David and has a 1-0 edge on Manchester United thanks to this perfectly-placed volley by Demba Ba. [Fox Soccer]...

Sunderland's Ji Dong-Won Delivers Last-Second Winning Goal, Then Makes Out With A Fan
Sunderland continued a giant-killing weekend in the English Premier League by stunning Manchester City in the final seconds of stoppage time with a goal by Ji Dong-Won....

Because Bringing Your Dog To An English Premier League Match Makes Complete Sense
I suppose it's possible this Sunderland fan celebrating Nicklas Bendtner's opening goal over QPR at Loftus Road has a service animal of some sort, but I'm pretty sure seeing-eye dogs aren't meant to be tossed around like this poor pup. Sunderland won in a 3-2 heartbreaker. [BBC]...

Who's Racist In English Soccer This Week?
It can be difficult to keep up with racism in the English Premier League, so here's a brief, handy roundup from this week's news:...

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Balotelli was involved with a training spat with teammate Micah Richards today, his third practice scuffle since last year. City is addressing the problem: they're building a fence at the training ground so reporters can't see the fights....

Aaron Rodgers Is A Miserable Bandwagoner
Hey, it's Aaron Rodgers wearing a Man City jersey! Wow, it's awesome to find a longtime fan of the Blues in the NFL, and in Wisconsin of all places. Aaron, I totally love your respect for one of the more under-supported Premier League clubs, and I know you're a real devoted fan, not just some poser ...

Mario Balotelli: Still A Delightful Train Wreck
There exists a 43-slide slidehow entitled "The Complete History of Mario Balotelli's Shenanigans." Familiarize yourself if you need to. The man is a magnet for madness, but he has more of a childlike innocence than a malicious streak. He does what he does because he just doesn't conceive of doing it...

Taped Premier League Game Doubles Ratings For MLS Final
When David Beckham left Real Madrid five years ago for what was billed as a "million-dollar-a-week" deal with the L.A. Galaxy, he said that he had two goals: He wanted to win an MLS championship, and he wanted to use his name to help raise the league's profile....

Mario Balotelli: Spokesman For Firework Safety
Man City's mercurial striker had one hell of a weekend. He set his rented $4.8 million house on fire after setting off fireworks in the bathroom. He scored the first two goals in a 6-1 thrashing of second place Manchester United at Old Trafford, Sir Alex's "worst ever" defeat. He drove through Manch...

"City Fans, 10% Off; United Fans, Fuck Off."
Could you tell it's nearly derby day? With City two points clear ahead of Sunday's showdown at Old Trafford, the watering holes of Manchester are taking sides. [Twitter]...

Are Things Going Any Better For John Henry Over At Liverpool?
It's been almost exactly one year since Henry's Fenway Sports Group purchased Liverpool, so to mark the occasion, Henry agreed to a rare lengthy interview with the Guardian. Both parts are well worth your time, but let's draw out the interesting stuff....

Samir Nasri Will Not Score Until April
City closed the deal with their 40 million dollar man today, and to celebrate, they had EA Sports put together an image of Nasri scoring his first goal, using the upcoming FIFA 12. Nasri appears to have slipped past Vidic and a very out-of-position Rooney, and City fans probably cannot wait for this...

Samuel Eto'o Will Leave Inter Milan For Obscure Russian Club (And Billions Of Rubles)
Samuel Eto'o, the 30-year-old Cameroonian soccer player, is leaving the glitz and prestige of Serie A's Inter Milan to play "for an obscure club in the violence-wracked Caucasus region of Dagestan, Russia." From Milan, one of the world's fashion capitals, to Dagestan: the land of the mountains. This...

Today In Great Coach Quotes
"If you want a Savile Row suit, you pay Savile Row prices, but you can still put a suit on your back from Tesco's... It would be unfair to expect the Tesco man to look as good as the Savile Row man." [West Brom manager Roy Hodgson on the team's bankroll, via Yahoo! Sport]...

Here's Video Of A Ukrainian Goalkeeper Making What Has To Be The Worst Play Of His Career
In Ukrainian Premier League action yesterday, a Volyn Lutsk defender scored from roughly 45 yards out during a match against Kryvbas Krivyi Rih. He did so by passing the ball to his own goalkeeper, Vitaliy Nedilko, who had a difficult time of stopping it before it cost his side a 1-0 loss....

Here's Video Of A Scottish Soccer Fan Attacking A Scottish Soccer Manager Earlier Today
With a 3-0 win over Heart of Midlothian (aka Hearts) at Tynecastle Stadium in Edinburgh, Scotland, Celtic moved to within one point of Rangers for the Scottish Premier League title. But, here's the real story:...

An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...

Tinfoil Hatters Have Something To Talk About For Man U-Chelsea
That's referee Howard Webb over there. A photoshop of him actually, because he doesn't really wear a Manchester United kit while refereeing. He wears a referee's shirt. After a controversial FA Cup match in January, with some controversial decisions going United's way, Liverpool player Ryan Babel po...

Clint Dempsey Bangs One In With A Flying Side Volley
You know what's hard to do? This. Clint Dempsey has never embraced the workmanlike Yankee style that many American players appear to have stuck in their chromosomes. The man takes risks. He's good at it. It's why he's good....

Why We Can't Tell You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
Because we don't know. (We're pretty sure it's Giggs, but that's not the point.) And we may never know, as a British judge granted an injunction against a newspaper to prevent it from revealing the details of the player's affair with Imogen Thomas....