ric Page 420 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Seahawks Warned The Cardinals About Carolina's Turf
The Seahawks could not have possibly had a worse start to their divisional-round loss to the Panthers last week, throwing two picks and allowing two defensive touchdowns and falling behind 21-0 in the first 15 minutes. And, at least to some extent, Pete Carroll blamed the grass....

Matt Hendricks Stops Slapshot With His Dick And Balls
This here’s Matt Hendricks and he’s making that there face because he took a hockey puck to the Johnson while defending against a Howitzer of a slap shot. ...

Jordan Morris Joining MLS Is A Good Thing, For Now
It took a rule change, a tense few days worrying whether he’d make his professional career announcement wearing a different shade of green, and probably more than a little soul-searching, but MLS has landed its man. Jordan Morris has officially signed with the Seattle Sounders after rejecting an off...

There Was An Incident With The Footballs And Gauges At Gillette Stadium This Weekend
Almost exactly a year to the day after Patriots equipment personnel “likely” intentionally deflated footballs to make them easier for Tom Brady to grip—at least, that’s according to the NFL’s Wells Report—there was another incident involving footballs and gauges before a Patriots playoff game at Gil...

Man Attempts To Squat 855 Pounds, Fails
This video comes with a pretty long lead up to the climax, but I’m urging you to watch the whole thing from beginning to end. You’ll appreciate the payoff that much more if you do....

Tyrese Has A Goddang Benihana In His Backyard, And It Looks Dope As All Heck
So my fellow Deadspin bloggers and I were scouring the internet for premium clickable content today when we—okay, it was just Samer—stumbled across the following video of singer/actor/philosopher/sex symbol Tyrese Gibson dancing and screaming and just generally flourishing to that one Ace Hood bange...

How Wile E. Coyote Explains The World
A joke has structure. It has a central rule. Setup, punchline. The setup produces a tensed, expectant state; the punchline resolves the tension with a surprise. If the elements of the joke are not arranged into a setup and a punchline, it is not a joke. It is just a statement....

Giant Monster Dunks On Poor Sucker; Poor Sucker Laughs
San Antonio’s “sort of an odd thing” Boban Marjanović (pictured here) is 7-foot-3, very strong, and has hands the size of Manu Ginobili. What I am saying here is that one can only do so much to prevent him from catching and dunking basketballs. Sometimes he’s just gonna catch a basketball and dunk i...

If You Never Liked <i>Once Upon A Time In America</i>, Give The Director's Cut A Chance
Michael Sragow’s review of the director’s cut of Once Upon a Time in America appeared in the March 5, 1985 edition of The Boston Phoenix and appears here with the author’s permission. ...

Aaron Ramsey Can't Stop Killing Famous People
Yesterday, Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey scored in a 3-3 draw with Liverpool. This morning, the world learned that Alan Rickman—one of the greatest working actors, world-famous for roles like Hans Gruber, Severus Snape, and the Sheriff of Nottingham—was dead at 69. His cause of death: Aaron Ramsey, maybe....

Russell Westbrook Ejected As Thunder And Mavs Get Into It
Mavericks-Thunder was never going to be close, not with Dallas resting all five starters after an overtime game the night before. And it wasn’t—OKC jumped out to a double-digit lead in the first quarter, extended it to 23 by halftime, and cruised to a 108-89 win. But not being competitive didn’t mea...

This Alabama Fan Is On His 18th Beer
♫ 18 beers, 18 beers, tied with Clemson at half & he’s had 18 beers ♫...

Stoke City Fans Recognize Bald Opponent On Train, Chant About How He Looks Like A Thumb
This guy up top here is Doncaster Rovers midfielder Richard Chaplow. He came on as a substitute in yesterday’s FA Cup loss against Stoke City, then, at some point, took a train somewhere. He was recognized—probably due to that gleaming dome he’s been sporting since a bout of glandular fever as a kid...

This Is One Dedicated Idiot On The Field
Yesterday’s FA Cup match between Eastleigh and Bolton featured a pitch invader on a mission—one that, despite his obvious interference, didn’t manage to stop play. The referee gave the advantage, and the Idiot On The Field fell on his ass....

This Off-The-Nose Dismissal Is One Of The Most Extraordinary Plays We've Seen In Any Sport
Yes, that headline is accurate. Today in Australia’s Big Bash League (which, true to its moniker, is getting a lot of attention in these parts recently) Melbourne Stars bowler Adam Zampa earned a dismissal after the Renegades’ Peter Nevill slapped a line drive that went off his teammate’s bat, then ...

Yaya Touré Is Way Too Upset About Not Winning African Player Of The Year Award
The African soccer federation handed out its annual African Player of the Year award yesterday, rewarding Borussia Dortmund’s Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang for a spectacular season. For most, this was a positive moment to celebrate Auba and all of African soccer for their players’ contributions to the g...

Dirk Nowitzki Gets Rejected By The Rim, Has A Funny Excuse
Dirk Nowitzki is old as hell. He’s still great, mind you, but he’s very, very old. So old, in fact, that he’s out here getting stuffed by rim despite being seven feet tall....

Robert Sarver's Purchase Of Mallorca Is An Indictment Of The American Soccer System
Phoenix Suns owner and amateur intergenerational psychologist Robert Sarver has purchased a controlling stake in Mallorca, a Spanish soccer club currently playing in the country’s second division. The move is presumably good for Sarver and the rest of his ownership group, which includes noted soccer...

Shitty Cricket Man Harasses Female Sideline Reporter
Melbourne Renegades batsman Chris Gayle decided to act like a butthole when sideline reporter Mel McLaughlin attempted to interview him during a game against the Melbourne Stars. Gayle came at McLaughlin with all kinds of cringe-worthy come-ons, and clearly made her very uncomfortable....

Those Jamokes In Oregon Aren't Terrorists, They're Jamokes
The American political lexicon has an appropriate word for the armed men conspicuously loitering in part of Oregon’s Malheur National Wildlife Refuge instead of going home. It is not terrorist or militia or occupation or revolution or movement or front or army or resistance. The word is jamoke. “Get...