rot Page 42 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
World Cup Open Thread: Slovakia-Paraguay
Good morning. Who's ready for another day of soccer action? Can Paraguay continue playing above their heads? Can Slovakia regroup after allowing a stoppage time equalizer? Follow the action and comment below....
World Cup Open Thread: Italy-Paraguay
Mandioca! Anything carbonara! Fight! It's Italy and La Albirroja, the darkhorse Paraguayan squadron. Bring your best Pavarotti jokes and comment as you watch the last of today's matches....
Landon Donovan's Ex-Wife Responds: Does Not Recall Frottage, Does Like Eddie Bauer
Yesterday, our man in South Africa told of a slow dance with Bianca Kajlich that he'd never forget, even if Bianca did. She did: "hmmmm. He's right, not a clue. But I do love me some Eddie Bauer so that feels right....."...
My Slow Grind With Landon Donovan's Ex: A Word From Our World Cup Correspondent
Luke O'Brien and his crew of irregulars will be filing occasional dispatches from South Africa for us. Today, a story of attraction and frottage, involving our correspondent and one Bianca Kajlich, then the future (and now the former) Mrs. Landycakes....
Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...
Apple Thinks This Tiger Woods Cartoon Is Too Mean For Your iPhone
Cartoonist Daryl Cagle says Apple rejected his Tiger Woods editorial cartoons app on the grounds that it "ridicules" a public figure, which seems like an awfully strong stance against something that amounts to a Leno monologue in pen and ink....
End Of The Line For The MSU Thong Thief
The Michigan State student who was arrested after stealing 79 pairs of women's panties denied that he has a sex addiction. It's clearly just a comfort thing, and makes him feel pretty. [AP]...
Phil Mushnick Does Not Want To Hear About Anyone's Testicles
"[Bill Raftery's] continued hollering of a crude crotch term after a big shot long ago should have ended, if not voluntarily, then on orders." Relatedly, in the same column, Mushnick professes to miss Billy Packer, who's a dick. [NYP]...
Stories That Don't Suck: Self Esteem, Ballad Of Big Star, Fantasy Baseball, Michael Lewis's First First Thing
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape, Part II
And now here's the video of Jackson State's Phillip Williams nutpunching Mississippi State's Dee Bost. By the time the NIT's over, we'll have a whole new section of sopranos for the pope's choir. ...
Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape
Here's the video of Seton Hall's Herb Pope doing to Texas Tech's Darko Cohadarevic what a thousand youth baseball bats have done to two thousand youth-coach testicles. [YouTube, via TBL]...
Onions, Both Peeled And Grabbed, Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the guy from the NCAA selection committee who peeled his metaphorical onions, and this happy Buccaneer from East Tennessee State, who merely gripped his....
Globetrotters On Ice!
The Globetrotters will take on the Washington Generals (possibly including Conan O'Brien) on an ice rink next week. If this sounds like an old trick, remember the Nets only look like they're playing on ice. [NY Times]...
Mark Sanchez Graduates From Poise To Chutzpah
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Frisky Italian TV Reporter Grabs David Beckham's Crotch
My Italian is spotty, but I think I can figure out what this woman is trying to do. I still don't understand why she needed the rubber gloves to grope Beckham. [WhoAteAllThePies]...
Conan Plays The Lovable Loser, But On The Court As Well?
Conan O'Brien might have some downtime coming up. So the Washington Generals, they of the decades-long losing streak, have reached out and offered him a starting spot....
What Terrible Football Organization Will You Be Protesting This Weekend?
Are you a football fan? Then there's a good chance your favorite team sucks. Sorry. But if you really want people to feel your pain, you'll organize some sort of protest of upper management, because that always makes things better....
Book From Hell
So, by the looks of it, Rick Reilly®'s new book promises to be a thoroughly dignified affair that won't in any way represent another sad step in a once-great sportswriter's descent into self-parody and studied wackiness. That much is evident....
G-20 Demonstrators Will Bring Down The Global Capitalist Hegemony With Sports-Themed Protest
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Why Your Empty Stadium Sucks
This is what professional baseball in Pittsburgh looks like in late September when the Pirates are some 30 games back and 3-22 over their last 25, and the Cincinnati Reds and a bunch of world leaders are in town....