sons Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Best Passages From <em>ESPN The Magazine's</em> 7,000-Word Feature On The Alabama Teabagging Video
You remember when Brian Downing teabagged a passed-out Garrison Stamp after last year's BCS title game, right? Of course you do, because the entire thing was breathtakingly stupid and cruel and hilarious in its own awful way, and you've probably watched the video of the incident a dozen times....
Profane Rant By D-III Christian College's Golf Coach Is A Thing To Behold
You could forward through the first 1:55 of this clip to get to the yelling and the screaming and the oh-so-many bad words. You could. But you shouldn't, because the buildup is what makes the explosion so great. Calm, helpful strategy gives way to praise for the one player who shot a decent round,...
What It's Like To Play A Round Of Golf At A Maximum Security Prison
This piece was originally published in Tomorrow Magazine, which just published its inaugural issue. Go here to buy a copy, and read more stories here....
More Angry Voicemails: Crazy Self-Described "Lesbian On Top" Leaves Crazy Message
Ever get a phone call from someone that was wrong number and wonder if it wasn't a wrong number at all, that it was just some crazy person dialing random numbers so that they could hear someone's voice? Reader Sebastian knows the feeling:...
This Might Be The World's Most Ingenious Prank Phone Call
Reader John emailed me this week with this audio of a prank conference call he set up between two pizza joints. He explains his methodology thusly: ...
Happy NFL Opening Day! The CDC Says Football Players Are Three Times More Likely To Die From Degenerative Brain Disease.
Let no one say the Centers for Disease Control's PR department doesn't have a wicked sense of timing. They chose today, the day of the NFL Kickoff 2012 presented by Bud Light, to release a study confirming that no, football is not good for you, and yes, it will leave your brain a quivering porous ma...
So Much For The Jeremy Lin Effect: MSG Stock At All-Time High
Shares of $MSG closed the day at 39.39, for a market cap of $2.98 billion. That's an all-time high for the stock, squeaking past the previous high at the beginning of NBA free agency, and blowing past the numbers at the height of Linsanity. This means nothing, but so does everything that came before...
The 10 Rules Of Pimping, As Written By An Actual (Alleged) Pimp
Steven McDaniel, of Long Island, NY, was arrested and charged today with running a prostitution and heroin ring. Among the items seized by police was a handwritten list of the "Rule's 2 Da Game of Hoez!!!" Thanks to the Smoking Gun, we proudly present that list, quite sic'd....
The Time Has Come For America's Flight Attendants To Shut Up
I think we can all agree that the emcee-ization of America's flight attendants has grown steadily worse over the past decade. And today, reader Kurt has sent us (and Gawker) arguably the nadir of flight attendant pep talks. I must warn you in advance that these will be among the two most painfully a...
Dwight Howard On The Lakers Is Just What The NBA Bargained For
Dwight Howard is going the be a Laker, and aside from turning the Lakers into serious title contenders, not to mention the kind of superteam that David Stern's moronic lockout was supposed to prevent from ever forming, Howard's arrival in L.A. brings the league to a philosophical crossroads....
"I Would Like To Extend You A Counter-Offer To Suck My Dick": A Rejected Jobseeker Sends The Padres The Best Letter Ever
Taylor Grey Meyer estimates that she applied for a job with the San Diego Padres at least 30 times since moving to Coronado, Calif. Initially, in the sales office; but as she was alternately rejected and ignored, she lowered her sights. This past March, she applied for a minimum-wage job selling tic...
U.S. Swimming Star Allison Schmitt Brings Out The Worst In Stupid People
The Internet is full of idiots. You don't really need to be told this. But last night after the 4x100 medley relay, won Allison Schmitt helped deliver a new world record for with a 53.25 freestyle split, it seems the idiots decided to provide their input on the interview Schmitt provided alongside ...
This Is The Deficit Allison Schmitt Just Erased To Win Gold For Team USA In The Women's 4x200 Free
The 4x200-meter freestyle relay just ended, and, as you'll learn tonight on NBC, the American women won gold. The hero of today's race was not Missy Franklin, everybody's favorite teenage superstar, but Allison Schmitt, the 22-year-old from the University of Georgia. (The photo above comes from Tues...
![Madison Square Garden May Be On Fire [UPDATE: Everything Is Fine]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17ugetvo5tokdjpg.jpg)
Madison Square Garden May Be On Fire [UPDATE: Everything Is Fine]
The first to note it, that we're aware of, was @NYScanner, which an hour ago sent out the message, "Manhattan: Box 0706 at 8 Penn Plaza at Madison Square Garden. FDNY Using all hands for a fire on the 6 floor." @BuffNetwork (a Twitter account that posts pictures of firefighting in the tri-state area...
Jon "Bones" Jones Sounds Like He Really Doesn't Want To Fight Anderson Silva
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Jones calls it "a lose-lose situation."...
WWE Reenacted Chael Sonnen's Failed Spinning Backfist
On Saturday at UFC 14, Chael Sonnen attempted a spinning backfist that was ducked by Anderson Silva. Sonnen tripped, took a knee to the grill, and the fat lady started singing. Two days later on WWE Raw, CM Punk paid a bit of tribute to one of the more theatrical MMA endings in recent memory: he mis...
Portland Man Running For Mayor, Punching Pick-Up Basketball Opponents In The Balls
I should clear something up. Democrat Jefferson Smith (pictured, right)* has denied punching any pick-up basketball opponent in the balls. His opponent yelled "You just punched me in the balls!" and Smith replied "I punched you in the thigh, not the balls." So, in the interest of fair and balanced c...
British Mayor Scandalizes Tiny Town By Showing Up To Olympic Torch Parade Dressed As "Sausage"
61-year-old Jill Makinson-Sanders is mayor of Louth, Lincolnshire, England, a cozy town of 15,000 in the English countryside. (Jim Broadbent lives nearby.) Small-town politicians, as a matter of habit, do what they can to put their towns and their towns' industries on the national map. Makinson-Sand...
Captain Mike Dixon: Women Arrested For Allegedly "Exposing Their Sexual Organs" On Golf Course
We are equal opportunity mockers here at Deadspin, so it is only fair that when we make fun of dudes whipping out their penises on a golf course, we do the same for women and their sexual organs. This time, however, it only took a phone call, not a shameful letter to expose the offenders....