sons Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Knicks Game Canceled Due To Asbestos
Newsday's Alan Hahn is reporting tonight's Magic/Knicks game will be postponed after asbestos fell from the ceiling during cleaning. This is clearly a metaphor for...something....

Derek Dooley Compares His Tennessee Team To The Nazis Or Something (UPDATED WITH VIDEO)
During a press conference today, Tennessee head coach Derek Dooley took a spin towards crazytown, comparing his team's miscommunication woes to the Nazis' prior to the Allies' landing at Normandy. This won't be hilariously recontextualized by a rival at all....

So, What's Magic Johnson Up To?
In the last few days, Magic Johnson has sold his share of the Los Angeles Lakers and his stake in 105 Starbucks franchises for a rumored sum in the neighborhood of $100 million. So, uh, what's going on there?...

Just A Warning To You Big Simpsons Fans Out There
An Idaho man pleaded guilty to downloading Simpsons porn. He faces 10 years in federal prison. His lawyer worked on contingency? No, money down!...

Brilliant Details From The Fabled Terrell Owens, Hugh Douglas Fistfight
Former Philadelphia Eagles special-teamer Jason Short spoke to NBC's Out Of Bounds about things he remembers from his playing days like concussions, wedge-busting, Iggles fans, concussions, Sean Morey's concussions, and concussions. But one section about T.O. is pretty hilarious....

Intern Horrors: Being Inducted Into The Klan At A Single-A Game
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, and we're back with more stories of boneheadedness and bosses degrading their most under of underlings. Today: unintentional racial insensitivity strikes minor league baseball, naked Don Zimmer, and so much more. Do it to it....

Jackie Robinson Statue At Nationals Park Busted Up By Tacklers
Brian Birrer made a statue of Jackie Robinson and took it to D.C. for the Nationals' Jackie Robinson Day. Several thousand dollars of damage occurred when it was tackled and now the Nationals are giving him the run around....

Tyreke Evans Feels, Exploits the Need for Speed
Ignore the timeline: Coach K's refusal to allow Tyreke Evans to represent his country in the FIBA World Championships (July 28) is directly to blame for the Rookie of the Year's 120-plus mph Cali Cannonball Run (May 31)....

10 Important Lessons Learned From World Cup 2010
And so it was that the World Cup came to a rather messy halt. It's been an uppy-downy tournament, thanks to disappointing superstars, weird new balls, and a final that found the Dutch looking for a fight....

How One Energy Company Will Prevent Catastrophic Oil Spills: Swivel-Chair Safety
What you are about to read sums up everything that's boneheaded about corporate America — and it all begins with a swivel chair. Read, weep, and learn....

Renovated MSG To Bring Sports Arenas Into (A Six-Year-Old's View Of) The Future
The first thing that jumps out at you in the renderings of the new-and-improved Madison Square Garden are two "sky bridges" that hang over the floor. Gimmicky? Yep. Sure to be ridiculously-priced for something higher than the highest nosebleeds? You betcha....

Softball Conference Champs Just Want To Dance It Out (WINNER'S UPDATE)
Fresh off winning an Atlantic Sun conference championship, the Lipscomb Lady Bisons debuted a coordinated dance routine. Unfortunately, it brought them neither the replenishing rains that would ensure a bountiful harvest nor a Women's College World Series title....

A Miracle For Easter Weekend: The Resurrection Of The Gus Johnson Soundboard
Fret not, weary reader. Be lulled to sleep by Jim Nantz no more. Gusgasm until you can Gusgasm no more. Rise and fire, friends. Rise and fire, forever. [Gus Johnson Sound Board]...

The Gus Johnson Soundboard Is No More
CBS sent a cease and desist letter to the operator of the Gus Johnson soundboard. He's asking for legal advice, so hopefully Deadspin LLC can help Gus rise and fire on this Good Friday. [Gus Johnson Soundboard]...

Gus Johnson Soundboard And A Humping Bulldog: The Mashup We've All Been Waiting For
What happens when you mix a horny bulldog with a stuffed bear and the Gus Johnson soundboard? Magic happens....

Kentucky's Future Lawyers Blow Off Class For Game, Get Called Out By Angry Dean
Northern Kentucky Law School held a mandatory "professionalism" lecture Thursday night, at the same time as UK's opening round game. The result: maybe not a lesson in professionalism, but certainly one in irony....

Pitino-Backed Red Birds Attempt To Screw Bears On Restaurant Table, So To Speak: Lousiville-Cal Open Thread
You were expecting a different picture, weren't you? Louisville had an off-year, and so did the Pac-10; there might as well be two pictures to keep you engaged. Say "Samardo Samuels" thrice into a mirror and comment the results....

NYU Business School Professor Has Mastered The Art Of Email Flaming
A student at NYU's Stern School of Business sent a complaint email to a hard-headed professor about his class's lateness policy. The professor emailed back, eviscerated the student David Mamet-style, and now it's gone viral. Welcome to internet immorality....

Last Night's Winner: Journalism
In sports, everyone is a winner-some peopleinstitutions just win better than others. Like GQ's story on the Marvin Harrison case, which renewed some faith in the flailing Fourth Estate. Prompted by the story, the FBI is taking another look....

Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...