tom Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Survive A Blood Test, For The Squeamish Wuss-Bag (You)
A flustered, stuttering phlebotomist once pointed out to me that men, left to nature, would never get a glimpse of their own blood except for in instances of trauma, and that this probably explains why men are notoriously squeamish about having their blood drawn. He told me this while I was leaning ...
Report: The NFLPA Already Has Problems With Tom Coughlin
Tom Coughlin, the Jaguars’ new executive vice president of football operations, has been brought into Jacksonville to try and turn the Jaguars into a competent football team. That means he’s bringing back all the principles of the Red-Faced Old Man management he developed in New York, and according ...
Tom Wilson Gets His Face Bloodied After Taking Out Zach Parise With A Gnarly High Stick
The Capitals and Wild met tonight in Minnesota and things got feisty pretty quickly. In the first period, Caps winger Tom Wilson caught Zach Parise in the face with a high stick on center ice, earning a four-minute penalty for the reckless stick handling....
You Love Trucks. Do You Love People?
Donald Trump loves trucks, I guess. Also, the trucking industry is poised to be decimated by technological change. Here we have an opportunity. ...
Maple Leafs Kill Five-Minute Penalty For Seven Minutes Because Of An Obscure Rule
Maple Leafs defenseman Roman Polak received a five-minute major and game misconduct for boarding in Wednesday’s game against the Blue Jackets. Since Polak was ejected, Toronto would usually have another player serve the penalty in his stead. Head coach Mike Babcock decided to gamble, but it didn’t w...
The Case Of The Missing Tom Brady Super Bowl Jersey Has Only Gotten Better
Earlier today, the NFL announced that authorities had recovered Tom Brady’s missing Super Bowl LI jersey, as well as the quarterback’s jersey from Super Bowl XLIX. As more evidence about the case has been released, the story has gotten even more bizarre....
NFL: International Media Member Had Tom Brady's Stolen Super Bowl Jerseys
According to a statement just released by the NFL, Tom Brady’s Super Bowl LI jersey, which was stolen from the locker room after the game, has been recovered. Authorities also recovered Brady’s Super Bowl XLIX jersey, which no one even knew had been missing....
Indiana Fires Tom Crean Right As NCAA Tournament Starts
Fresh off a thoroughly embarrassing end to their campaign, Indiana has fired men’s basketball coach Tom Crean after nine seasons. Crean guided the Hoosiers to three Sweet 16 appearances in his tenure, but the team only earned a futile NIT first-round exit this season, after at one point being ranked...
Indiana's Season Ends Quietly After Dumb NIT Stadium Controversy
The Indiana Hoosiers began the year ranked No. 11 in the country, and at one point, got as high as third. They beat both Kansas and UNC in the first month of the season, two huge signature wins for when the Hoosiers inevitably submitted their resume to the NCAA Tournament. All was well in Bloomingto...
Size Isn't Everything As Long As You've Got A Reliable Backhand
INDIAN WELLS, Calif.— The little guy had a problem, and knew it, running a hand through his sweat-damp sienna hair. All of 21 years old Yoshihito Nishioka is listed at 5-foot-7 and 141 pounds, straining credibility on both counts, and on Monday a heavy bandage swaddled something hurt under his right...
The Penguins-Jets Grudge Match Was The Perfect NHL Cycle Of Stupidity
The Penguins and Jets came into Wednesday night’s game with beef. When these teams last met, on Feb. 16, the Jets were incensed by an Evgeni Malkin hit to the head of Blake Wheeler. Watch it here and decide for yourself, but the NHL decided it did not warrant any further discipline beyond Malkin’s t...
Even You, Wasting Time At Your Job Right Now, Are Not Phoning It In As Badly As This Tennis Player
Bernard Tomic is the second-best prospect from Australia and now, miraculously, the first-best at not giving a shit. That’s quite an accomplishment given the oeuvre of his close friend and compatriot Nick Kyrgios, who tanked his way to a $25,000 fine and hit a tweener at the climax of a fifth-set co...
Stem Cell Treatments Could Be The Next Frontier In Fixing Broken Pitchers
In an interesting dispatch from spring training, Yahoo’s Jeff Passan reports on Los Angeles Angels pitcher Garrett Richards’s recovery from a May 2016 elbow injury that shut him down for the season....
I Don't Think Grigor Dimitrov Will Lose Anytime Soon
This afternoon I burped and realized Grigor Dimitrov is playing tennis as well as anyone alive. Lesser players come at him and might startle him for a little—like Mischa Zverev did in the first round here at Rotterdam—but after the opening set, he remembers that he can swarm the whole entire court,...
Peter King Profiles Tom Brady, Who Drinks Salt And Smiles And Therefore Is A Genius
Of all the clichés of the hack celebrity profile, perhaps the most overdone is the one where the writer opens with an observation of the famous person’s eating or drinking behavior from across a table. You’ve encountered this countless times, I’m sure: the bombshell sex-symbol tearing lustily into a...
Just Elect Keith Ellison Already
The race for Democratic National Committee chair has been going on for, it seems, a thousand years. It should mercifully conclude this month. If the Democrats are not idiots, they will give it to Keith Ellison, and move on to doing things of actual importance. ...
Tyronn Lue Can Do A Solid Tom Thibodeau Impersonation
Before the Cavs-Wolves game started tonight, Cavs coach Tyronn Lue graced us with his Tom Thibodeau impersonation. Fittingly, it was mostly grunts....
Tom Brady Is A Cockroach
Zoo Atlanta and Rhode Island’s Roger Williams Park Zoo made a cheesy Super Bowl bet, in which the losing zoo would have to name a baby animal after the winning team’s quarterback. Since the Patriots won, meet Tom Brady, a baby Madagascar hissing cockroach:...
![SLU Basketball Team Abandoned As Bus Driver Goes Rogue And Makes A Run For It [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/brs4lrpngyn3f3y9oztz.jpg)
SLU Basketball Team Abandoned As Bus Driver Goes Rogue And Makes A Run For It [Update]
The St. Louis University basketball team may have just unveiled a less scary mascot, but unfortunately, they still suck at basketball. The 8-16 Billikens lost a road game to St. Bonaventure tonight, and they were unable to immediately hightail it back to the midwest after the game, on account of the...
Someone Seems To Have Stolen Tom Brady's Super Bowl Jersey
We have an honest-to-God post-Super Bowl mystery on our hands, and I am elated. You see, Tom Brady doesn’t know what happened to his game jersey:...