tonight Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as elves cobble shoes in the tiny sweatshop you've constructed in the garage ... • MLB: Red Sox at Yankees. Apparently there's some sort of rivalry. • Reno 911: Washington State at Nevada football. Take the over. • MLB: Mets at Cardinals. The best team in baseball versus, well, the Met...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Gilligan ascends to Sitcom Heaven ... • Your excuse to eat vast quantities of junk food is finally here: Raiders at Patriots kick off NFL season. • MLB: Angels at Red Sox. Converging fronts of negative mojo from Yankees, A's fans collide over Fenway, causing it to rain. • U.S. Open ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Dislodge The Remote From The Dog ... • MLB: Rays at Yankees. Raise that threat level to red — Stenbrenner's about to blow. • That time you got comically tangled in the net should not detract from your enjoyment of the U.S. Open. • MLB: Mets at Braves. Because ESPN 2 cou...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the price of gas exceeds the price of real estate ... • NFL: Giants at Patriots. It's the final exhibition game, so expect to see a lot of QB Jared Lorenzen. • College football: Central Florida Cannon Fodder at South Carolina Spurriers. • MLB: Tigers at White Sox. One of these teams...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch on your freshly looted high-definition TV ... • Boxing: Malcolm Tann vs. Derek Bryant heavyweight clinchfest. • MLB: Cardinals at Marlins. Do we feel Baseball Fever coming on? Nope, it's just the humidity. • U.S. Open Tennis. Because real sports get us too worked up....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch After You've Been Cut By The Denver Broncos ... • MLB: A's at Angels. Doesn't it seem that these teams play each other every day? • WNBA Playoffs. The excitement is palpable.* • U.S. Open tennis. Hey, why is the court blue? * = may not be true....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Instead Of Endless Hurricane News ... • Monday Night (Exhibition) Football: Rams at Lions. Remember when they wore the yellow sportscoats with the circle on the pockets? We're wearing one now. • MLB: Dodgers at Cubs. Look ... all the Chicago players are vomiting milk. • U.S. Open, Day ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Remembering That Tonight's Yet Another Anniversary Of A Breakup ... · Toronto Blue Jays at New York Yankees. You know how they used to say every egg you ate took five minutes off your life. We think Yankees losses are like that with George Steinbrenner, except it's like an hour. ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Secretely Believing Your iPod Is Trying To Kill You · Arizona Diamondbacks at St. Louis Cardinals. Tomorrow night, we will be at Busch Stadium. Tonight, we'll be putting together shelves. Tomorrow wins. · New Orleans Saints at New England Patriots. When ESPN Classic repeats this ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Dislodge Your Remote From The Dog ... · 2005 World Series of Poker: Watch that river flop! OK, we have no idea what that means. · Little League Softball: Pssst: The kid with the beard is juicing. · Collegetowns: Life In College Football: Yeah, they're just looking for s...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch after those four foolish words: "I'm going all in." ... · Where players are still using the juice — usually grape: Little League Southwest Regional final. · Lions at Jets: Mike Heimerdinger unveils new offense, Chad Pennington ruins it. · Light welterweight slap and tickle: Donald Cama...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as groundhogs destroy your home's foundation ... · ESPN football: Chargers at Packers. Drew Brees, a jug of wine and thou. · Those incredible homers over at TBS present San Francisco Giants at Atlanta Braves. · WNBA: Minnesota Lynx at Detroit Shock. When they were naming this team, we ...
Baseball Tonight Hijinks
We've become pretty addicted to Fire Joe Morgan, a hideously designed but riotously funny daily rip on ESPN's baseball coverage. Today's rant is on something we noticed as well: The awful, brain-dead banter about the AL Cy Young between analysts John Kruk and Harold Reynolds and anchor Karl Ravec...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the tattoo removal guy lasers her name from your arm, and, finally, your heart ... · Tigers at Athletics. Detroit's Sean Douglass, pride of the Toledo Mud Hens, tries to go 4-0. · Weetabix Cereal Women's British Open. Servings per container: 1. Calories: 0. · Pugilism: Lubwana vs. T...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as E.T. fends for himself in his flight from authorities ... · Mets at Astros. Houston fans give a warm welcome to former Astro Carlos Beltran, who ... hey! Who threw that brick? · Soccer or football? Winner of D.C. United vs. Chelsea gets to name it once and for all. · How Nick Watney...
To Watch Tonight ...
The burglar stole everything except your crappy TV. Thank the Lord. ... · Hey, maybe the Padres will make Phil Nevin catch again! That would be funny. · What are we going to do tonight? I have six words for you my friend: Frontier League Baseball All-Star Game. · Now that the dancing show is over, p...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Until Squirrels Eat Through The Cable ... Twins at Yankees: N.Y. needs to finish ahead of Red Sox, if for no other reason than to stop a Fever Pitch sequel Boxing: Ren Gonz lez vs. Samuel Hern ndez. Bantamweights — they're so cute at that age. WNBA: LA Sparks vs. Phoenix Mercury. Feel ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch with binoculars on your neighbor's new plasma screen TV ... · Giants at Cubs. Dusty Baker sure glad he left that sinking ship. · Lincoln Financial Battle of The Bridges Golf Tournament. Or, Battle at the Bridges (ESPN describes it both ways). Anyway, Tiger Woods is on one of the bridge...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the Oompa Loompas do your household chores ... Dodgers at Mets. Jeff Weaver vs. Victor Zambrano for all the marb ... for, ah, third place in their respective divisions. PGA U.S. Bank Championships: "Gambling is illegal at Bushwood Sir, and I never slice. ... Damn!" Foot Fetish: NE R...