tony Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Best MNF Game In Many A Moon
If you weren't able to stay up and make the whole "Monday Night Football" game last night, we're sorry for you: That was as terrific an NFL game we've seen all season. You can tell from the comments on our late-night post: As Larry King might say, "if that game didn't excite you, check your pulse, b...

Who Will Tony Romo Date Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Down Goes Favre! (Kind Of, Not Really)
Of all the possible scenarios going into last night's Epic And Unwatched De Facto NFC Championship Game, the one we hadn't considered involved Brett Favre getting hurt and pulled in the second quarter. The only scenario less likely was Aaron Rodgers actually bringing the Packers back ... and that al...


Has Kornheiser Already Had Enough Of This MNF Business?
After all the battling ESPN and Norby! have done to make sure Tony Kornheiser is as comfortable in the "Monday Night Football" booth as possible — which is to say, "not very comfortable" — we can't imagine the Bristol folks are doing backflips over the rumors from DC this morning that say Kornheiser...

Bill Belichick Is A Surly Dick
Michael Showalter is one of the minds behind The State and Stella and the writer and star of the films Wet Hot American Summer and The Baxter. We're a fan. He also, apparently, is a sports fan. To promote his new album Sandwiches And Cats, he's doing a pseudo tour of the various lousy blogs like our...

Your Heart Says No, But Your Eyes Say Yes
Grandpa returns home from the hospital today, and you're throwing a party to celebrate his successful triple-bypass surgery. But what can you serve that's both easy to prepare and economical? Thanks to the genius of And I Am Not Lying, your problems are solved!...

Tony Romo Knows That To Impress Girls, You've Got To Have Skills
Why, why, Tony Romo? You and Carrie Underwood were so perfect for each other! And now this conniving temptress Sophia Bush comes between you? Is there nothing to believe in anymore?...

Tony LaRussa Will Drive The Cardinals Car Again
Looks like the police officers of Jupiter, Fla., might have some more reasons to pose for pictures next spring: Tony LaRussa is returning as manager of the Cardinals....

Which One Is The Dinosaur? We Keep Forgetting
Who is more despised among Colorado Rockies fans right now; their own mascot, Dinger, or Tony Kornheiser? It's a close call, and there's actually a petition afloat to get rid of one of them once and for all....

Cardinals Fire GM Walt Jocketty
On the day the Chicago Cubs begin their quest for their first World Series championship in 100 years, the rival St. Louis Cardinals ... have fired their general manager....


Wait ... A Tolerable Monday Night Football Broadcast?
So we were watching ESPN's "Monday Night Football" last night, and we noticed this odd feeling, a peculiar sensation that we had, up to that point, never experienced. We couldn't figure it out; were we developing some sort of cold? And then we realized: We were watching "Monday Night Football" ... a...

New MNF Booth Just Full Of Giggles!
Newsday's Neil Best documents a happening that seems specifically designed to make Joe Theismann pound his face repeatedly against a wall: a practice session with the new "Monday Night Football" crew. They're having so much fun!...

Witness The Raw Might Of Tony Gwynn
We make no claims to physical supremacy, or aptitude, or even the ability to walk 40 feet without heaving. But surely, new Hall of Famer Tony Gwynn isn't this weak....

Theismann Still Bitching About MNF Firing
We're sure there are people out there other than Joe Theismann and Washington Post columnist Leonard Shapiro who will miss Theismann on "Monday Night Football" broadcasts next year. We just can't find any of them....

Congratulations, Cal And Tony!
If you'll kindly excuse me, I'm going to step away from the computer for a little while to stretch my fingers, eat a Tim Horton's BLT sandwich, and watch Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn be inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. I hope you understand. I'm really, really hungry....

Tony Romo's Heart Will Go On
Ladies, it's useless to resist; the smooth musical stylings of Tony Romo are destined to capture your heart. The American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament is over, but left behind is this treasured memento, taken at the Center Stage Club at Harrah's Lake Tahoe on Saturday night. I will not rest un...

A Baby Name Which Will Cause No Future Embarrassment Whatsoever
When all is said and done, I blame the mom. When your last name is Karr, and dad comes up with the brilliant idea of naming the new baby Chevy, that's when you put your foot down, ladies. And you put it down hard ... on dad's genitals while he's sleeping, if necessary. And if he still insists, then ...