w Page 4815 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed in your obsessive frenzy to make the world's largest ice cream sandwhich ... · U.S. pummels tiny, defenseless Carribean neighbor in Gold Cup soccer. · Baseball, softball axed from Olympics, joining former events tug-of-war (1900-1920) and club swinging (1932). · Yankees' Giambi nudge...
To Watch Tonight ...
Your TV pulls you from the real world with its flickering, hypnotic caress. Don't be afraid. · Indians at Yankees. This series is your last chance to see Derek Jeter until after the All-Star break. Poor dope. · ESPN Bowling Night. Yes, you're watching bowling on television. How sad is that? · PGA Jo...
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the Cartoon Network's hastily scheduled Gumby marathon ... · Runtime Error: Jeter snubbed by online All-Star voters · Panama beats Colombia in Gold Cup soccer, as if you didn't know. · New Yorkers stunned, disoriented as Mets end Hernandez's 2 1/2-month win streak....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as New York makes plans to get the 2040 Olympic Games ... · Cubs at Braves. Everyone expecting to play tonight take a step forward. Not so fast, Derek Lee. · WNBA All-Star Game: Courtside celebrities to include Jim Belushi, Frank Stallone. · Goooooooooo Gold Cup: Colombia vs. Panama at...
John Kerry's Worst Nightmare
If you're hanging around East Dublin, Georgia, this weekend — and if you are, be careful of all those disputes with the Irish Republican Army — you would be remiss not to drop by the 10th annual Summer Redneck Games. (We find it infinitely amusing that the event organizers have a Tripod site. We'r...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while transferring all your "White Shadow" episodes from VHS to DVD ... · Boston's Manny Ramirez just loves to show off with the bases loaded. · Horry, Spurs reach accord. Can world peace be far behind? · Healthy at last, Josh Beckett leads Marlins to ... no wait, he's hurt again....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as Tom Cruise goes totally mental on some other channel ... · Mets at Nationals: Not our idea of a good time, but you go ahead and knock yourself out. · ESPN Chronicles: Bobby Knight. Parental Discretion Advised. · WNBA: Phoenix and San Antonio actually move around and set some picks....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while running down the street with your hair on fire and a sparkler stuck in your ass ... · Sprocket Man: Lance Armstrong sitting pretty after fourth stage of Tour de France. · Astros' Biggio passes a defenseless dead guy on all-time hit list. · Japanese man eats 49 hot dogs, and sad...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as ... hey! Vladimir Putin stole the remote! · Operation Desert Snore: Giants at Diamondbacks. · Golf: Ask your doctor if the Cialis Western Open is right for you. · Trey Bien! WNBA Sacramento Monarchs at New York Liberty....
Jeter, A-Rod Exchanging Blows. This Time It's Not In A Gay Way
We were all waiting to see when Yankees gay icons Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez were going to finally have a lover's spat. According to Radar Online — who would know, we suppose — it happened last week. The report, attributed to a TV producer who apparently gives his/her scoops to Radar rather t...
Kraft Meant To Give The Ring All Along! Of course!
Patriots owner Robert Kraft now says that he meant to give Russian president Vladimir Putin his Super Bowl ring in the first place....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while picking up various items thrown by Kenny Rogers ... · Pride of Pawtucket: Schilling impressive in minor league rehab start · Biggio ouch! sets modern-day ow! baseball record Jesus, that hurts! · Braves, Marlins treat fans to 4 hours, 14 minutes of sweltering, error-plagued hell...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the melting ice cap slowly submerges your front yard ... · Yankees at Orioles. Torre gets by-the-hour rate at Hyatt Regency Baltimore. · Wimbledon not-so-live: How come no one ever calls each other "dawg" in tennis? · ESPN Classic: 1984 San Francisco 49ers. Come with us now to a tim...
He Should Have At Least Gotten Some Vodka Out Of It
Patriots owner Robert Kraft was out doing what huge capitalists do this week: Meeting with leaders of other countries and gladhanding them enough so they'll give them some free shit down the line. Kraft shook hands with Russian president Vladimir Putin and, to show off, handed Putin his Patriots ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while Dick Cheney entertained us with an hour of televised vetriloquism ... · NBA Draft: Andrew Bogut becomes first to bend down and shake David Stern's sweaty little palm. · Steinbrenner, Damacles have closed-door meeting. · Roenick removes foot from mouth, finds ice skate attached....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While The Dog And The Cat Are In The Next Room Plotting A Takeover ... · David Stern Presents the NBA Draft. Couldn't Billy Crystal host it just once? · Yankees at Orioles: Joe Torre funeral procession swings through Maryland. · Wimbledon Highlights. You know you want them....
NBA Draft Predictions: Trying To Piss In The Dark While Handcuffed
As previously mentioned, the NBA Draft is tonight. This, of course, is a completely random exercise with 30 different variables liable to change their minds for no particular reason at any given moment. But sportswriters get bored, so we present the Deadspin guide to mock drafts by people who don'...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Chasing The Ice Cream Truck Eight Blocks For A Creamsicle ... · Indians at last give Red Sox fans something to complain about. [Tribe Report] · A day after hiring Ferry, Cavaliers turn down Larry. [LeBron And The Cavs] · Yankees win, pissing off Steinbrenner even more. [Bronx B...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch As The Undead Rise Outside And Search For Human Flesh ... · Indians at Red Sox: Antidote to all the bad baseball we've been watching. · Braves at Marlins · Night Court: Wimbledon recap. No John Larroquette....
Cricket Star Not Well-Endowed, Kind of Chubby
Warne, whom the British tabloids have been tracking for years, is being divorced by his wife after he was nailed for cheating on his her for the umpteenth time. This in itself is not necessarily newsworthy; athletes, we hear, are known to sleep around a bit, maybe, not sure. But the story here is pr...