w Page 4822 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
She left me! How can I go on? How can I ... oh, I remember: TV sports. Game 2: Detroit Pistons at Miami Heat. In the time it takes Shaq to run the length of the court, six million pounds of cocaine have been smuggled into the U.S by boat. Houston Astros at Chicago Cubs. Damn you, Red Sox! We were su...
Blogger's Stockholm Syndrome
One of our favorite unheralded blogs is The Yankee Despiser. Essentially, some guy who can't stand the Yankees writes just about everything you'd ever need to know about the Yankees. Frankly, we find more information and commentary about the Yankees there than we do at most fan blogs. Anyway, TYD — ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed due to the restraining order ... Spurs go up 2-0 on Suns: Our immunity to NBA Fever still has physicians baffled. Yankees clobber Tigers: A-Rod gets two homers. Or was that I-Rod? Jor-El? Ack, green kryptonite! Bucks win NBA Lottery: A 6.3 percent longshot comes through, giving hope ...
To Watch Tonight ...
Please welcome, making another appearance on our sofa — my ass. (Applause) Game 2: Spurs at Suns. Come see the franchise based solely on air conditioning. Dodgers at Giants: This used to be fun, back when Bonds and Beltre were juiced. NBA Draft Lottery: In which you are humiliated by a ping pong bal...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while dangling from a tree in your parachute ... Pistons go up 1-0 on Heat. As it turns out, Shaq still has some parts on back order.Anastasia Myskina ousted in French Open. The good news: You've never liked women's tennis. Danica Patrick on Letterman: Female Indy qualifier has cab c...
Boobs. Is There Anything Else Newsworthy?
You didn't think we'd ignore this all day, did you? The New York Post features a sports column today from the only person who knows less about the NBA than Peter Vescey: Anna Benson! The wife of overpaid Mets righthander Kris Benson penned the first of what will hopefully be millions of NY Post d...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Tonight Instead Of Chuckling At Soldiers Glaring At Nick Lachey: Game 1: Pistons at Heat: Little men make Shaq mad! Shaq crush little men! White Sox at Angels: The game will be played somewhere in the Los Angeles area. We're not allowed to say exactly where. Pirates at Cardinals: If Bo...
Bo Bice: The New Reggie Miller
Those looking for next "clutch" player to replace Reggie "Never Won A Title But Am Somehow Considered The Best Crunch Time Guy Ever" Miller should turn their eyes away from the court and toward lousy FOX reality television, says Flak's Bob Cook in his weekly "Bring Out The Sports!" column. (We re...
Tiger Woods Remains World's Whitest Man
Tiger Woods didn't play in whatever bland, corporate-sponsored backslap-fest the PGA Tour hosted last weekend, but that's because he was in Las Vegas. Gambling away millions? Snorting lines off stripper cleavage? Drinking milk past its expiration date? Anything? Of course not. It's Tiger Woods. H...
Ricky Williams 15 Pounds Lighter, And It Ain't The Hair
In the wake of the news that Ricky Williams is eager to rejoin the Miami Dolphins, Florida Today's Carl Kotala gives five reasons why Ricky should return and, to be all schizo on us, five reasons why he shouldn't. Being a sportswriter, he throws a couple lame Whizzinator and Lenny Kravitz jokes i...
The Mustache Is The Most Thing Normal About Them
We don't know whether or not this is offically classified as a "sport" or not, but SportsFilter directs us to the preliminaries of the World Beard and Mustache Championship. The real finals are in October, but the training goes on year round. (Weird soldier outfit is optional.) Interestingly enoug...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while secretly watching Desperate Housewives ......
To Watch Tonight ...
Fever has reached 109 degrees. So weak. Must ... reach ... remote ... Game 6: Spurs at SuperSonics: With one more win, San Antonio's Manu Ginobili can totally buy whatever country it is he comes from. Diamondbacks at Astros: Just for laughs Clemens should come out wearing a Yankees cap. Game 6: Pist...
Steinbrenner Still Alive And, Apparently, Vaguely Alert
Like everyone, we were beginning to wonder if George Steinbrenner was stashed away in an old-folks home somewhere, terrorizing the arts and craft room and insisting that old ladies shave their facial hair. But alas: He's still around, giving an interview with the YES Network that will air Sunday...
Always Bet On Red
We love it when academics get bored. According to a couple of "British anthropologists," teams and athletes that wear the color red are more likely to be successful. "Across a range of sports, we find that wearing red is consistently associated with a higher probability of winning," says one of the ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line for Star Wars tickets ... Suns go up 3-2 on Mavericks: Revenge of the Ewok as Nash goes for 34 against old team. Another setback for Bonds: He's attached to an IV in emergency attempt to distill some humility. M's end Yankees' win streak at 10: You may now resu...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to do tonight instead of feigning interest in your family. Game 5: Dallas Mavericks at Phoenix Suns: This game won't end until after 1 a.m. on the East Coast. ER doctors and 7-Eleven clerks will be talking about this one for days. Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox: Until now we knew the White...
California Legislature Publicly Confesses Boredom
Angels owner Arte Moreno is the type of guy we like. In case you forgot, this guy got around the Angels' agreement with the city of Anaheim that he would keep their city in the team's name by calling them the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim," knowing full well that the name would just be shortened...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Fishing The Remote Out Of The Koi Pond ... Pistons Go Up 3-2 Against Pacers. Scoring 67 points in the first half, Indiana went on to ... wait ... 67 points for the game? The fat fan who tried to slug Ron Artest suits up for Pacers in Game 6. Yankees Win 10th Straight. Jason Gia...