w Page 4831 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Closer: Exploring The Melky Way
Notes from a day in baseball ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you put much faith in Jason Marquis... • MLB: Mets at Reds. Reds fans anxiously await any more genius moves before trading deadline; such as Griffey for a bag of magic beans. [Fox Sports Ohio] • WNBA: Houston at San Antonio; New York at Los Angeles. Mark Cuban will blast the officia...
Get Drunk With ESPN
We've been waiting for someone to come up with a definitive ESPN drinking game, and even though this might not be the definitive one, it's pretty close. Here's a fun "Pardon The Interruption" sampling:...
Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You Know
It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men ...
Tsuyoshi Shinjo, SUPERSTAR!
We're not going to say anything about this Japanese video of New York Mets flop Tsuyoshi Shinjo. We're just going to show it. And then hide....
That Ref Is Not A Pirate; He's Just Blind
We don't ask much of referees in our sports: They should be fair, they should try to avoid taking away from the action on the field, they should, in a pinch, be able to prance around a bit. And, not to be a stickler, it would be nice if they had two working eyes....
Man, This Stadium Sucks
Well, we have to say, we didn't exactly expect our first game at the new Busch Stadium to have the feel of a U.S.-Japan World Cup Softball Game. By the fourth inning of the Cardinals' 15-3 loss to the Braves, we were roaming the park freely, searching for cracks in the woodwork and doing anything ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize you're wearing someone else's pants ... • MLB: Atlanta at St. Louis. Come on by; we'll spring for the first round. (Not really.) [ESPN] • Softball: World Cup, championship game, USA vs. Japan, at Oklahoma City. Sweet revenge for the World Baseball Classic, or just an eve...
The True Nature Of Bo's Tecmo Dominance
From our old friends at Kissing Suzy Kolber comes this rather classic video of showing just how great Bo Jackson was on Tecmo Bowl. It's a quarter-long touchdown run. This almost certainly happened to us repeatedly as a child....
Curt Schilling Can't Live Without His Modem
As anyone who has ever been around Sons Of Sam Horn can attest, Red Sox LEGEND AND HERO Curt Schilling tends to spend a little too much time on the computer. (We can attest to this too; he's even emailed us.)...
The Headbutt That Will Not Die
If you're tired of hearing about the Zidane World Cup headbutt (or, the "Glasgow Handshake," as such a move is more commonly called), well, sorry. Even as you read this, an army of computer nerds are producing animated gifs of the incident at alarming rates. The French have their version of the co...
One Final Monday-Cooper Explosion ... Be Ready
So if you're like us and you spend your weekends doing everything you can to avoid the computer, you might not know about this yet. So we feel like maybe you should sit down. Take a deep breath. You might not be ready....
To Watch Tonight...
• ESPY Awards Red Carpet Special. 8:00, ESPN2. I'm not watching any "red carpet special" unless it's some kind of an investigative report on Nicole Kidman's bush. • 2006 ESPY Awards. You don't want to miss ESPN's "ESPN is Awesome" night. 9:00, ESPN. • Movie. Hoosiers. A heartwarming tale, as opposed...
Wayne Rooney Has A Book
England and Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has penned an autobiography. And even though he's just 20 years old and doesn't look like the brightest guy around, I find the fact that Rooney has an autobiography way less ridiculous than the fact that Terrell Owens has two. Some tidbits from Wa...
What It Might Be Like When Stephon Marbury And Steve Francis Try To Share One Basketball
Big thanks to J.E. Skeets (who also takes a deeper look at the T.J. Ford/Charlie Villanueva trade) and the Basketball Jones for the heads-up....
Cowboys Safety Keith Davis Shot
Dallas Cowboys safety Keith Davis is recovering from two gunshot wounds sustained last night during a drive-by shooting on a Dallas highway. His condition is listed as stable, and despite being shot in the head and in the thigh, his injuries aren't considering life-threatening....
Marco Materazzi Is Not The Worst Guy In Italian Soccer
The gigantic Italian soccer scandal has finally reached a resolution, with the Italian Football Federsation's prosecutor ruling that three clubs, Juventus, Fiorentina, and Lazio, will be demoted from Italian Serie A to Serie B. And another team, AC Milan, will be starting next season with a fiftee...
"One Shining Moment," It Is Not
Let's see... How do I go about explaning this to you. I, um... well... it's a song, that comes courtesy of Kentucky Sports Radio. It's a song written by the man pictured to your right, and... well, if you tried to imagine a song written and performed by that guy pictured to your right, it would so...
To Watch Tonight...
• IndyCar Racing. Firestone Indy 200. I believe Danica's in the luteal phase, so she'll probably finish around 10th. 9:00, ESPN. • Softball. China vs. United States. Might be fun, if you like the mercy rule. 8:00, ESPN2. • Movie. Goodfellas. Is this the superintendent? Yes, sir, I would like you to ...