w Page 5048 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you've stepped up the volleyball rivalry a bit ... • College football: Louisville at Connecticut. The cardinal is the most fierce of all the tiny, small-beaked birds. [ESPN] • Golf: Champions Tour, AT&T Championship, first round, San Antonio. This time I shall find a way to beat ...
Isiah Thomas Remains A Genius
This is a few days old, but we can't let it pass unremarked. It appears Isiah Thomas has the same firm grasp of his roster as he always has....
ESPN: We Don't Want No Trouble
ESPN's new comment section, ESPN Conversation, has been an endless source of entertainment for us, and you as well, we suspect. Specifically the Featured Comment on their home page, which is possibly the blandest thing on the planet. In fact, I doubt that ESPN commenters are even human: Their commen...
Live Blogging The Torre Press Conference
In a perfect, imaginary universe, Joe Torre would just go off today. His press conference, which is starting any minute now, will most likely feature Torre looking bemused and tired, giving "his side" of the story....
Two Pair Not A Winning Hand In Kansas
Oh yes we've got trouble! Right here in Salina Kansas! With a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for boobs! Here are Salina Central High seniors Jessica Sheahon and Haley Wenthe, modeling salacious T-shirt designs which have been banned from their high school campus. The entire notion ...
Jerry Jones Can't Figure Out This Damn Spacebar
Via Touchdown.org comes one of the more amusing attempts by a professional sports franchise to master the series of tubes that is the Internets....
Bill Belichick Is Now Watching YOU
We hope you didn't buy any Patriots tickets through StubHub last year. Because if you did, the New England Patriots now have all your information....
Joe Torre, The Way It Was Always Gonna Be
Some might say the Joe Torre business in Tampa involving the Yankees yesterday is a sign of organizational chaos, but, frankly, this seems like the way it probably had to go down all along. (Some even saw it coming.)...
About Last Night
What you missed while fumigating your nuts ... • MLB: Despite Manny calling time out when his team didn't have any left, Red Sox stay alive in ALCS. • College football: You've got some red on you ... Rutgers 30, South Florida 27. • Soccer: David Beckham upstaged by the offensive stylings of Jozy Alt...
This Ain't Over
Don't be confused everyone, it's me, Unsilent Majority. I'm filling in tonight because Will was delayed in his travels or he just doesn't love you anymore...the text message wasn't entirely clear on that matter....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your free lifetime's supply of beer ... • MLB: American League Championship Series, game 5, Boston at Cleveland. Manny is very sorry, and says he cares a great deal. [Fox] • College football: South Florida at Rutgers. The Oklahoma-Nebraska of the 21st century. [ESPN] • Col...
ESPN Anchors Feel The Burn
You know, we always imagined that Richard Simmons just hung out in Bristol all the time, sort of an unofficial mascot. We imagine him fetching Nachos for Van Pelt and really getting on Trey Wingo's nerves....
Torre Says Thanks, But No Thanks, To The Yankees
There's something perfect, really, about how this whole Joe Torre business went down. Now that he has rejected a one-year deal with the Yankees, he gets to walk away from the madness with his dignity intact and his head high. And the Yankees get to move on themselves. All this talk about firing Tor...
Jamboroo, Week 7: Where We Explore The Idea Of The NFL As Hangover Cure
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Just Another Peaceful Day Of Youth Baseball On Long Island
At first glance it's the story you've heard a hundred times before: Little League coach benches player for swearing; player calls dad on cell phone; dad and uncle arrive and pummel the coach unconscious on the pitcher's mound; arrests ensue. But this one has a few twists: Mob connections, federal wi...
Jason Kidd Is Aware Of His Physical Advantages
You know the NBA season is just around the corner when Jason Kidd is in the gossip pages again. The Nets point guard is accused of groping a woman (twice!) and then informing her of his rather imposing physical advantage....
Nobody Knows Crushing Losses Like A Boiler
Before Purdue's shellacking at the hands of Michigan last week, three Boilermakers team managers decided to run onto the field and recreate the famous blocked field goal at the end of the Appalachian State game....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to decide if the suckatorium is a brothel, or another name for Fenway Park ... • Golf: PGA of America, Grand Slam of Golf, final round, at Tucker's Town, Bermuda. I'll be at the cabana bar. [TNT] • NBA: Preseason, Cleveland vs. Orlando, at Shanghai. I'll be in the pirate s...