w Page 5053 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Emmitt Smith To Get Unexpected Competition On 'Dancing With The Stars'
Those suffering from persistent night terrors — frightening disorders of the sleep from the darkest corners of the psyche — should not watch the above video. We were deeply disturbed by it, and are now unable to eat, or dress ourselves to go out. We blame The Realests, which today links to an AOL Mi...

No Pedro In October? That Just Seems Wrong
As we deal with our own baseball-related panic — which we'll obviously be getting into later — we turn to Queens, where Mets fans, enjoying their best season in nearly 20 years, have lost their ace for the entire playoffs. Whether Pedro Martinez comes up with a tiny former Brando co-star or not, w...

And It's Like Nothing Ever Happened ... Presto!
So, now that the 9-1-1 call from publicist extraordinare Kim Etheredge has been made public and now that the police have ruled the incident an "accidental overdose," well, everything's back to normal now, right?...

The Closer: You Picked A Fine Time To Leave Me, Lucille
Notes from a day in baseball:...

Clinton Portis Hangs Up The Wacky Glasses
There's a reason that you must wait five years until after your career is over to be elected to most professional sports Halls of Fame; it looks strange to have a Hall of Famer out there running around like everybody else. It seems beneath them, somehow....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after another fun-filled day of Squirrel Awareness Week activities ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Carlos Hernandez vs. Kevin Kelley, at San Antonio. This should be ... wait a minute. Versus? Wha? [Versus] • College football: Brigham Young at TCU [Versus], Auburn at South Carolina. Keep an...

Still Wading In The T.O. Morass
You know, it's strange how, after the frenzy of Terrell Owens-related madness yesterday, it all seems to have died down today. It never fails to bewilder us that once an athlete denies something, mainstream reporters just kind of say, "OK, well, must not be true, then!" and move on. There seems to b...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Cleveland Cavaliers
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. Let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team. Today we begin with the Central Division, so do us a favor and send us your tips at [email protected]....

"Thick In The Britches"
This is Bob Whitfield, veteran left tackle for the New York Giants. According to his bio, he has five children, ages ranging from 19 to 5. He seems like an upstanding member of society. And when NJ.com asked him, apropos of nothing, "whose backfield would you like to see in motion?" he had quite an ...

Jesus Has Nothing On Mike Holmgren
Lost in all the Terrell Owens madness yesterday was the strange, theologically earth-shattering news that Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander proclaimed he would play next week, despite his broken foot, because of the power of prayer....

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
We mentioned this briefly the other day, but we figure it probably deserves its own post....

The Human Being Vs. The Publicist
A legitimate question as we tie a big ribbon on this whole Terrell Owens suicide business for the day, which, we have to say, ESPN has done a rather outstanding — if predictably overdone — job of covering today:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you recall that mini-tornado that hit Busch Stadium a while back, which turned out to be an ill wind ineed ... • MLB: Philadelphia at Washington. Eye of the Tiger? Anyone? [ESPN] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, Werder Bremen at Barcelona, at Bremen, Germany. So, is this a current m...

Maybe The BALCO Reporters SHOULD Go To Jail?
As we sort through the public reaction to the possibility of "Game Of Shadows" reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams heading to jail for their refusal to give up their sources, we have found something surprising: The vast majority of people we talk to about this who aren't reporters think t...

"When She Said She Was Gonna, Like, Wreck My Car ... I Didn't Know What To Do"
From Australia comes the heartening news that, even if the worst happens, Barbaro's racing career is not necessarily over if he happens to croak. The AP reports: ...

Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Los Angeles Lakers
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. Let us celebrate with five tiny tidbits on each team. Tomorrow we begin with the Central Division, so do us a favor and send us your tips at [email protected]. • 1. We're Still Looking For Lakes In Los Angeles. The Lakers did not g...

Getting You Up To Speed On Mr. Owens
Terrell Owens is expected to speak at 1:30 p.m. ET in front of his house, though probably not lifting weights. We'll be live-blogging that, because we're "alive" and a "blogger," after the jump....

Another Morning Terrell Owens Update
As we deal with the sustained brilliance of our comment section — seriously; you guys are absolutely setting the planet on fire this morning. The genius displayed on the T.O. story is out of control — we turn again to the attempted suicide of Terrell Owens. We have a feeling this might be the type o...

T.O. Tried To Kill Himself
So you know how Terrell Owens was rushed to the hospital last night, because of an "allergic reaction" to some pain medication? Well, a Dallas police report says it wasn't a bad reaction at all: It was a suicide attempt....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while driving 128 through Shelbyville toward Pana ... • College football: Southern Mississippi at Central Florida. Quick, name the mascots. Now do it again after five beers. [ESPN2] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, Dynamo Kiev at Real Madrid, at Madrid, Spain. He passes it to the forwa...