w Page 5067 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FIU Must Protect This House!
You might remember, during Miami announcer Lamar Thomas' insane rant during the Miami-Florida International fight last year, when he said something to the effect of, "you don't come into our house pulling that," or some similar nonsense. Well guess what, Lamar? Ned and his band of FIU faithful are a...
Your Socks Appear To Be Somewhat Damp
There are so many teams in sports with terrible nicknames. We're not talking about the Redskins; we mean legitimately stupid ones. We think there might be nothing worse than the Toronto Raptors; does anyone even remember Jurassic Park anymore? And don't get us started on the 54,234 teams named "Wild...
How Not To Help A Player Cheat In Class
If you're going to cheat in class to help a college athlete, it's probably a wise idea to at least pretend to try to hide it. Use a fake email account, wear a fake mustache, something. Cover your tracks a little, you know?...
NFL Season Preview: Pittsburgh Steelers
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Mr. Peabody Instructs Sherman To Set The Wayback Machine To 1897
Just to put the Texas Rangers' 30-3 win over the Batimore Orioles on Wednesday into proper perspective, we take you now to 1897, the last time a Major League team cracked the 30-run barrier. It was a glorious, two-fisted era in baseball, when an umpire could be arrested twice in the same season for ...
Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets
This is Marques Slocum, defensive tackle for the Michigan Wolverines. He has a Facebook page. And it's quite glorious....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as authorities decide, as part of his sentence, to place a live skunk in Vick's cell each morning ... • Basketball: FIBA, Americas Championship, preliminary round, USA vs. Venezuela, at Las Vegas. The lack of defense that occurs in Vegas, stays in Vegas. [ESPN Classic] • Little League ...
Brandon Webb, Still Shutting People Down
Tonight, against the first-place (for now!) Milwaukee Brewers, Arizona pitcher Brandon Webb is attempting to extend his 42 consecutive inning scoreless sheet. He's 17 innings away from tying Orel Hershiser's record of 59 — Orel Hershiser married a girl from Mattoon, by the way — and that's just two ...
The Day The Chargers Avoided Disaster
On last night's "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart," the plucky host who stole Larry Sanders' show out from under him mocked the NBC SundayNightIsFootballNight crew for analyzing how the NFL and the Atlanta Falcons would deal with Michael Vick's guilty plea. We understand the easy joke — Who cares abo...
George Mitchell, Still Slogging Along
In March 2006, we — Rick, actually — wrote, about the announcement of George Mitchell's steroid panel, "it would seem any investigation would have to be so wide-ranging that Bonds could either surpass Ruth and Aaron or retire before it can be completed." We thought that was ridiculous, and we believ...
Spree Could Probably Use That Cash About Now
Sure, it was all fun and games to make fun of Latrell Sprewell for turning down a $21 million contract a few years ago because he "had to feed his family." Well, that family, which has apparently been floating around on a Milwaukee boat, is about to get hungrier....
NFL Season Preview: Green Bay Packers
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
R.I.P. Eddie Griffin
We send our condolences to the family and friends of former Timberwolves guard Eddie Griffin, who was killed last Friday when his SUV hit a moving train. Word of his death in Houston only came out yesterday....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waxing on and waxing off ... • MLB: Pujols does that thing he does as Cards beat Marlins 5-2 ... St. Louis still three behind Brewers and Cubs in Central. • Little League World Series: It was raining in Williamsport, so naturally the team from Oregon won. • Tennis: It's raining...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you decide not to vote for Chad Henne ... • Little League Baseball: World Series, pool play, at Williamsport, Pa.; Walpole, Mass. vs. Warner Robins, Ga.; Taiwan vs. Mexico, Why is Sean Hannity checking IDs? [ESPN2] • MLB: Padres at Mets. The series that could make or break Mr. Met. ...
Everywhere You Look, White Kids
We do enjoy the Little League World Series, though a little part of us wishes they didn't keep score, and a big part of us missing Harold Reynolds. But blog Say Hey was wondering the same thing we were: Where are all the non-white American kids?...
This Also Happens Often To Swimmers
SCANDAL at the University of Hawaii! Apparently, some fella named Ian Sample, who used to play football for the Rainbows, claims coach June Jones used to manipulate drug tests. We're not sure we understand what the big deal is — if you can't get stoned playing for Hawaii, dammit, where can you get s...
Osama Bin Drinkin' Is More Like It
"Hi, it's me again sports fans. Just to prove how many different kinds of crazy we are here here in the cave, we have now called for the deaths of decadent sexpots David Beckham, Wayne Rooney and Thierry Henry. Also, Justin Timberlake and P. Diddy have been added to the list. Act now, for these eter...
A Q&A With Sally Jenkins
Sally Jenkins is one of the most formidable sportswriters in this great land of ours; her work for The Washington Post won her the Associated Press' Sports Columnist Of The Year award, which is a real award and actually kind of esteemed, if you can believe that. She's the co-author of It's Not About...