w Page 5067 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Not The Best Way To Protect Valuables
There's no way of verifying whether or not this is real — our spider senses say no — but even if it's not, it's something we've all been afraid of. A German fan on his way to the World Cup, showing off his tickets to a fellow traveler, has a serious mishap....
Chalk One Up For The Little Guy
And so the debate rages: Does Johnny Damon, or doesn't he, suck? We refuse to take sides, but one thing we can report is that our nation's babies are now involved. A New Bedford housewife, still miffed over Damon's defection to the Yankees, had been trying to sell "Johnny Damon Sucks" baby bibs on...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Margaret Hamilton blows by in midair on her bicycle ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs. This could be the day that Dusty gets fired. You wouldn't want to miss that, would you? [WGN] • MLB: New York Yankees at Toronto. Well, they won't have Shea Hillenbrand to kick around anymore. [E...
Whitlock Tells Us How He Really Feels About Scoop
In case there were any lingering doubt what ESPN.com columnist Jason Whitlock thinks of ESPN.com columnist Scoop Jackson, allow Whitlock's Kansas City Star column should clear it up for you. In a column about a study showing how white the sports journalism industry is and what that means, or doesn...
The Return Of Portis' Head
We supposed part of us should be depressed by the news that Clinton Portis is taking his strangely brilliant "characters" from last season's Redskins press conferences and using them to shill for the NFL Network, but we can't quite summon up much outrage. Honestly? We're just happy to see the char...
Men, Keep Your Wives From Bill Belichick
OK, so it turns out that Patriots coach Bill Belichick is quite the swordsman....
Boy, This Busch Stadium Place Is Great
Five minutes before first pitch at 7:05 at Busch Stadium last night, all was well. We were sitting in the bleachers with our father and our fiancee, scorebook and four pens in hand, watching David Eckstein toss pop-ups with a kid who had won some contest. It was hot, but it had been hot all week, ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while waiting for Godot ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Antonio "Seafood Platter" Mesquita vs. Santo "The Hobbit" Pakau, at Ontario, Calif. Yes, we invented those nicknames just now. Why do you ask? [ESPN] • MLB: Chicago White Sox at Detroit. Shouldn't this be a closer divisional race tha...
The Careful Way To Wedding Plan
With the first leg of the wedding season behind us and the next — in the September range, we think — someone finally asks a perfectly legitimate question: When is an appropriate time to have a wedding without getting in the way of appropriate sports viewing time?...
Kellen Winslow, Soldier (In Pads, And With Free School And A Big Contract And Little Chance Of Actually, You Know, Being Killed)
So we'd never actually seen this old video of Kellen Winslow Jr., after a Miami game against Tennessee. He is answering a question about whether or not a player he leveled with a devastating block was hurt. And we get confirmation that Kellen Winslow, tight end for an Ohio football team, is a soldie...
Who Knew Strange Things Happened In Long Island?
OK, probably time to get into this New York Islanders mess. As you surely have read by now, the Islanders fired general manager Neil Smith and hired current backup goalie Garth Snow to take his spot. The move seems curious from all directions; even Snow seems to be receiving a demotion, since he h...
The Closer: Exploring The Melky Way
Notes from a day in baseball ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you put much faith in Jason Marquis... • MLB: Mets at Reds. Reds fans anxiously await any more genius moves before trading deadline; such as Griffey for a bag of magic beans. [Fox Sports Ohio] • WNBA: Houston at San Antonio; New York at Los Angeles. Mark Cuban will blast the officia...
Get Drunk With ESPN
We've been waiting for someone to come up with a definitive ESPN drinking game, and even though this might not be the definitive one, it's pretty close. Here's a fun "Pardon The Interruption" sampling:...
Only A Matter Of Time Before This Becomes An Olympic Sport, You Know
It is at once Carl Monday's worst nightmare, and everyone else's dream come true. On August 5, hundreds of people will gather in a hall in central London to, um, pleasure themselves for charity. We only wish we were kidding about the UK's first "masturbate-a-thon," in which contestants — both men ...
Tsuyoshi Shinjo, SUPERSTAR!
We're not going to say anything about this Japanese video of New York Mets flop Tsuyoshi Shinjo. We're just going to show it. And then hide....
That Ref Is Not A Pirate; He's Just Blind
We don't ask much of referees in our sports: They should be fair, they should try to avoid taking away from the action on the field, they should, in a pinch, be able to prance around a bit. And, not to be a stickler, it would be nice if they had two working eyes....
Man, This Stadium Sucks
Well, we have to say, we didn't exactly expect our first game at the new Busch Stadium to have the feel of a U.S.-Japan World Cup Softball Game. By the fourth inning of the Cardinals' 15-3 loss to the Braves, we were roaming the park freely, searching for cracks in the woodwork and doing anything ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize you're wearing someone else's pants ... • MLB: Atlanta at St. Louis. Come on by; we'll spring for the first round. (Not really.) [ESPN] • Softball: World Cup, championship game, USA vs. Japan, at Oklahoma City. Sweet revenge for the World Baseball Classic, or just an eve...
The True Nature Of Bo's Tecmo Dominance
From our old friends at Kissing Suzy Kolber comes this rather classic video of showing just how great Bo Jackson was on Tecmo Bowl. It's a quarter-long touchdown run. This almost certainly happened to us repeatedly as a child....