w Page 5071 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Titans To Pacman: You Shant Pretend Wrestle
When we last left our intrepid yet suspended NFL hero, which was yesterday, we were speculating the possibility of wrestlers exacting revenge on Pacman Jones for what one of Jones' lackeys did to a strip club bouncer-slash-wrestling hopeful. So either the Tennessee Titans are afraid something might ...

The Real Pennant Race Borders Lake Michigan
• Ha-Ha, My Win Cancels Out Your Win. Looks like the NL Central is the lone division that knows how to orchestrate a damn pennant race. The Chicago Cubs won 6-2 over the Colorado Rockies, and they remain just ½ game behind the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers also won, but with a smaller margin of vic...

Bonds Brings Us Down, But Ankiel Lifts Us Up
• All the EPL you can handle. Remember to meet Mr. Hirshey this weekend for EPL opening weekend. • Bonds hit his damn homer already. • Rick Reilly ... shirtless! • It's always fun when Irish pick up prostitutes. • Remember to join the Deadspin Pants Party College Pick 'Em Pool. • Duck! Jay Mohr's ba...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after both your father and your son get arrested on "Cops" ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Terry "Cloth" Smith vs. Rob "Petrie" Calloway, at Springfield, Mo. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at Philadelphia. This had better not interfere with the Bill Engvall Show. [TBS] • NFL: Buffalo at New Orlean...

NFL Season Preview: Denver Broncos
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Drama At Shea Extends Over The Fence And Into The Clubhouse
Remember the old days in the NL East, when the Braves were pulling this crap on the Mets all the time? Willie Harris provided the heroics in the outfield and Chipper Jones the muscle in the clubhouse as Atlanta picked Mr. Met's pocket, 7-6. Harris leaped above the left-field fence to pull in Carlos ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Ned makes you the perfect cup of hot cocoa ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Colorado. The freefall continues? [WGN] • NFL: Preseason, Indianapolis at Dallas. Games that don't count where the players don't try which we watch for reasons we don't quite understand. [Fox] • Soccer: MLS, Los A...

Is This The End For Our Tubby Hero?
When David Wells missed a start in the 2003 World Series because of mysterious back problems that might have been related to the fact that he weighs 800 pounds, we figured he was done. Missing a World Series start because you were out of shape? People tend to not like that....

NFL Season Preview: Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Ankiel Gets The Call
He is the The Natural, he is Young Musial, he is the alpha, the omega, the beginning, the end. And, as of today, he is a member of the St. Louis Cardinals. Sources tell us that an announcement that Rick Ankiel has been called up to the big leagues is scheduled for later this afternoon/weekend....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as tiny woodland creatures help with the housework ... • Boxing: Joe "Not Especially Mean" Green vs. Darryl "Fish Face" Salmon, for the NABA middleweight title, at Hollywood, Fla. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at New York Mets [ESPN]; Chicago Cubs at Houston. Why must you tease your fans so, ...

Your PGA Championship Preview
The final "Major" "Championship" kicks off this weekend, the PGA Championship. It's at the Southern Hills Country Club, which is in Tulsa, Oklahoma....

Make These Women Carry Your Stuff
The woman in this photo is Lucy Dardiner, one of the specialty caddies from England's Eye Candy Caddies. The concept is what you think it is: Attractive people, carrying your clubs and, we dunno, feeding you grapes or something....

Three Great Tastes That ... You Know, We're Gonna Stop There
We meant to post this yesterday but didn't get around to it. David Beckham visited the Yankees locker room on Monday; he was one of the she-male, muscular types A-Rod usually hangs with while in Toronto. For some reason — and we can't put our finger on why — but these pictures oddly remind us of th...

NFL Season Preview: Houston Texans
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Judge: Brazilian Soccer Is Too Gay
Say what you will about the legal system in our country — we are a country governed by laws, and those laws are enforced by a man who gleefully lies, splendid, amazing, artistically blessed lies — but at least we don't have people like Manoel Maximiniano Junqueira Filho, a Brazilian judge....