w Page 5081 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When Fabricated Quotes Are Taken Out Of Context
Yesterday, I mentioned in the Blogdome about how a sports talk radio show made a crucial mistake none of us seasoned sports blog readers ever do: take an Every Day Should Be Saturday post seriously. Continuing this trend, Sports Illustrated appeared to have taken a satirical riff on the NBA Draft di...

Police Find Maasive Collection Of Drugs (And One Gun)
I bet you're wondering why one person, namely former NFL player and current Fox Sports commentator Bill Maas, needs both a gun and illegal drugs and his car. You'd think one or the other would suffice for a former lineman, but it's quite simple, actually. See, the guns fend off anyone trying to take...

No Way Is This A Ripoff Of The Shufflin' Crew
At first I was slightly disappointed when the video preview image looked like a white guy in shades standing behind a golden Plinko board. But the video redeemed itself when a European guy conducted with his feet....

To Watch Tonight
• 8 p.m. — Nextel Cup: Pepsi 400. Any driver whose helmet is worn 3 millimeters off-center will receive a 100-point deduction. [TNT] • 8 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Columbus Destroyers at Dallas Desperados. And the backup quarterback for the Destroyers is ... you guessed it, Josh Harris from Bow...

A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...

One More Pittsburgh Pirates Fan Will Stake A Walkout
Earlier this year, Kevin McClatchy released the chair of Pittsburgh Pirates majority owner from his grasp. Since he was on a roll, yesterday he announced he will let go of another cherished title at the end of the year: CEO. Hey, if you love something, let it go. If it finally earns a winning season...

Maybe it's because Eric Byrnes is just too IN YOUR FACE for the studio. Maybe Fox Sports is afraid his energy and enthusiasm could, at any given moment, blow away Jeanne Zelasko's carbon-fiber wig. Either way, the Arizona Diamondbacks centerfielder, who plays analyst when his team no longer plays ba...

I Say, Jolly Good Performance By Venus Williams
Contrary to popular belief, Venus Williams is still playing tennis. (Kind of like when I saw Paul Shuey pitching for the Orioles last night. In fact, it's EXACTLY the same thing.) She made the Wimbledon final against Marion Bartoli, a tennis player you may remember hearing about first in this senten...

It's A Football Score! Get It?
Guys, We Were Closer When We Gave Up 20 Runs. Go ahead. Make the joke. "It's a football score!" Haw haw haw! Because, see, 20-14 is the kind of final score you might see in an NFL game. But you never hear the joke "Wow, maybe they were playing lacrosse!" Or, "Golly, looks like he should have hit on ...

Saturday Afternoon Stuff To Watch
12 p.m. — Drag Racing: NHRA Sportsman Series in Norwalk, Ohio [ESPN2] 12:15 p.m. — Movie: Best In Show [TBS] 1 p.m. — 2003 ALCS Game 7, Red Sox at Yankees [ESPN Classic] 3 p.m. — PGA Tour: AT&T National, Third Round [CBS] 3 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Colorado Crush at San Jose SaberCats [ESPN] ...

About Last Night ...
• MLB: Cleveland pitched fairly well against Toronto. Except for that one inning. • U-20 Soccer: Never did a Brazilian think USA's kids could beat Brazil's kids, let alone be schooled by a teenager named "Jozy." • Wimbledon: Bartoli upsets Henin. It doesn't say how, so I'll assume she stole her husb...

If You Were A Veggie Hot Dog, Would It Be OK To Eat Yourself?
• God, the hot dog eating championships are fun. • John Patterson, get thee to Canada. Don't tell Spencer Hawes! • 45 seconds ... starting NOW. • Cursing at Yankee Stadium? Now we've seen EVERYTHING! • Dan LeBatard would like to keep Harold Reynolds away from his women. • MJD left us, but he is not ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you walk out a wiser, weaker man ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Nate "Glen" Campbell vs. Wilson "Home Improvement" Alcorro, at Tampa. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at San Diego. Petco's cavernous outfield no-man's land must be fed! [TBS] • Soccer: FIFA Under-20 World Cup, USA vs. Brazil, at O...

You've All Been Working For The Weekend
After The Mighty MJD's heartfelt goodbye last weekend — after more than a year of serving as our weekend editor — the speculation has been immense. (Really!) Who's gonna take over for MJD? Well, considering it's Friday, we should probably tell you....

What Will Be Cut From This Year's ESPY Awards?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Jason Witten's Forging Momma
So, just to bring you back up to speed, in the world of outstanding sports moms, we have:...


The Orem Owlz Medium Is The Message
For years, we have watched the totalitarian media/mind control tactics of the rookie-level Pioneer League team the Orem Owlz with a wary eye. They have sat there, in their megalomaniacal castle in Utah, acting as if they are the rulers of all the survey, wielding their power indiscriminately and wit...

Bad Day For Neshek
It was a bad day all around for Pat, who suffered his first loss last night. Fortunately, his beautiful designed Web site — not that we should talk — will keep updating, and even putting up these in-no-way-uncomfortable-to-watch videos. Next year, Pat. Next year....