w Page 5084 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
East Side Little League Will Cap Your Ass
First of all, this is not a hockey post. This Wade Campbell is a Little League dad, who, concerned that his son wasn't getting enough playing time, had a cheerful discussion with his coach. Yes, the term "shot down like a dog" was used, but only in the most constructive of ways....
Dock Ellis Understands Why He Is Famous
You thought it was funny — or perhaps just disgraceful — when Pete Rose started signing baseballs with "I'M SORRY I BET ON BASEBALL: PETE ROSE." But Dock Ellis (as Dock Ellis tends to do) one-ups Pete with his own unique way of branding memorabilia....
Arenas And Durant, Like Burns And Allen
You just know he insisted on that, and that he practiced in a mirror for months to get it exactly right....
Yes, EIU Wrestlers, We Understand Your Point
Last month, the Eastern Illinois University wrestling program was discontinued by the school, which cited low academic marks from the team. The grapplers immediately protested in the only way they know how....
It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...
Just Another Anonymous Night At The Ballpark
In the last eight years, we've seen way too many baseball games. We've seen a World Series winner (woo!), we've seen a freaking typhoon and we've seen Joe McEwing hit home runs for two different teams. (He's still in the Red Sox minor league system, by the way.)...
Boog Powell Would Never Had Stood For This
We just thank God that Roger Clemens wasn't around to see this. Clemens, exercising the Unlimited Vacation clause in his contract, was in Connecticut when Scott Proctor walked in the winning run in the Orioles' 3-2 victory over the Yankees on Tuesday. Evidently mindful that it was Serious Heart Cond...
What The Hell's Going On With This Redesign?
As you surely notice looking around the site, there's some massive design changes going on. (You'll notice that it looks suspiciously similar to Gawker.) We're not exactly sure how this is all gonna work either, and we're working through it ourselves, but let's try to explain what's going on and the...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line to buy a phone ... • MLB: Walk this way ... Orioles beat Yankees in the least exciting way possible. • Tennis: Venus Williams upset in first round of ... no wait, she won. That was close. • Soccer: We warned you ... you underestimate Peru at your own peril....
David Beckham Is Trying Rather Hard To Make It Clear He's Tough
In a promotional photo shoot with Reggie Bush and the New Orleans Saints, David Beckham definitively illustrates, once and for all, the differences between football players and soccer players....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you await Young Frankenstein, the musical ... • MLB: Colorado at Chicago Cubs. The barefoot guy tried to take the field, security refused to yield, do you recall what was revealed the day, the Rockies died. [WGN] • WNBA: New York at Sacramento. Liberty. Monarchs. We're getting the h...
Grow, Controversy, Grow!
Our favorite headline of the month so far comes from Philadelphia, where jockey Victor Molina has been charged with domestic abuse. The victim? His racehorse, whom he kicked in the stomach following a race at Philadelphia Park. The headline? Jockey Short With Horse, naturally....
Hey, Wimbledon's Going On, We Guess
Every year, when Wimbledon comes around, we wonder who, exactly, is sitting around in America and watching these matches all day. They go on all day in the middle of the most gorgeous time of the year; because it's in England, we always assume everyone has to use their rackets on their opposite hand...
The Gyroball Rock
A little late on this, but if you were wondering whether Daisuke Matsuzaka was blessed with musical talent, rest assured, folks, the guy has mad vocal skillz. And by "mad vocal skills," we mean, he warbles songs to warm your heart and soul. He's like the Japanese Oprah....
It's Raining Boxers! Hallelujah!
This man is Kelvin Davis, an American heavyweight boxer who was schedule to fight in New Zealand in a couple of days. He was out running across a bridge as part of his training and suddenly felt threatened by the oncoming cars. So ... he jumped off the bridge. It didn't work out well....
Stuart Scott Is The Broadcasting Equivalent Of Hudson Hawk
As Awful Announcing reported yesterday, tonight, ESPN will bring you a Very Special "SportsCenter" featuring Bruce Willis, Live Free Or Die Hard and all kinds of WACKY HIJINKS....