Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Brains and beauty, Joe Pa's ancient self, and the stench of Millen.

• Cheering and Educating: "The Eagles Tiffany? Well maybe she can tutor Donovan McNabb on the finer points of the rule book." [Bob's Blitz]

• The magic of the, uh, magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl: The key is to find something to do. Anything. [The Sporting Blog]

• Joe Paterno is older than sliced bread. No, seriously. [FanIQ]

• At times, we must turn to our enemies: "The irony of ironies might be upon us. In order for George Karl to save his job, he might have to start his least favorite player." [Denver Stiffs]

• Why don't they simply take a shower?: "Matt Millen's stench remains with Lions." [Sports Examiner]

• Jose Canseco, boxer: "While Jose Canseco has been M.I.A since his last, embarrassing first-round knockout loss, Danny Bonaduce has kept in great shape thanks to a successful appearance on Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling program. Judging by the photos, provided by Paul Pruitt Photography, Jose is clearly just a shell of his once badass self." [Wax Heaven]

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