It goes without saying that Terrell Owens, at 39 years old, probably isn't going to be catching any footballs anytime soon. Still, a man's got to find an outlet for all that aggression and adrenaline and competitive spirit. So...bowling? Bowling.

According to, TO owns the Dallas Strikers, a team in the Professional Bowlers Association League. He debuted last Tuesday and Wednesday at the United States Bowling Congress Open Championships in Reno. As is customary with the formal NFL star, Owens started off strong, showing flashes of brilliance, before stepping on his dick and finishing disappointedly.

"The first game went pretty well," Owens told the PBA. He rolled 185 in that game. "I'm still new to this, so when I saw some of the guys switching balls, I felt I should switch, too." He then bowled 129 and 161 in his next games for a 475 series.

Above is a video of Owens's debut, complete with a pair of trolling announcers.