Terry Francona Eats Garbage Late At Night And I Get It

We all (and by “we all” I mean “I”) remember the tale of Cleveland Indians manager Terry Francona eating 17 popsicles in one night. It was his second-greatest achievement after winning the 2004 World Series, and well ahead of winning the 2007 World Series. Over time, it’s clear that Tito has a propensity for late-night food.

The popsicle story, again, via Ohio.com:

“I had 17 the other night. No, that’s not a lie. They’re healthy, so if one’s good, 17’s gotta be real good. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like borderline, like it was coming up. But I was so tired that I just laid there for about an hour and I was like, ‘Don’t throw up, don’t throw up, don’t throw up.’ I I should have got up and threw up. And then I woke up in the morning and I was like, ‘****’. So I started counting the sticks. They’re so good. Obviously I don’t get tired of them. They’re so ******** good.”

“Because Brandon took over nine boxes and there’s six in each box. There’s one box left. So I don’t know what I’m going to do tonight. They’re good, man. And they have them on the plane, too. When the lady comes by with a basket I just grab the basket like, ‘I’ll handle this.’

Last Saturday night, before Game 5 of the World Series against the Cubs, Francona said he couldn’t sleep, so he ordered a sundae and a bunch of additional ice cream from hotel room service around 3 a.m. He said it cost $44:

Francona ordered a brownie sundae. He added two orders of chocolate ice cream and another two orders of vanilla. Francona asked for chocolate syrup to top it all off. Realizing this was not the healthiest of choices, the skipper decided he better add some fruit to the equation.

“To kind of keep it healthy, I ordered the berries,” Francona quipped. “Oh, and a Diet Coke.”

The person on the other end of the phone had just one question.

“How many people?” Francona said with a laugh.

Only one spoon was required, and Francona put it to work.

He joked about his ice cream adventure after Cleveland lost Game 6 Tuesday, but was it really a joke? The dude loves his frozen treats:

Today, Francona admitted that he dealt with yet another bedtime snack mishap after Game 6:

I know it’s cute to say that anyone who does something remotely funny is “me,” but numerous bags of Haribo gummies, sticks of string cheese, and handfuls of kettle chips after dinner will confirm that this is indeed me. I am Terry Francona, minus all the good parts.