Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

Texans gather at Deshaun Watson restaurant opening, because of course they do

The Texans going to a Deshaun Watson’s restaurant together. Great.
The Texans going to a Deshaun Watson’s restaurant together. Great.
Image: Getty Images

It’s likely that it won’t become that much of a story, due to the fact that the Houston Texans suck, or that the NFL will almost certainly want it to go away, and that not much will come of it because of that. But the fact that multiple Texans attended a restaurant opening in Houston because Deshaun Watson is part owner spills so heavily into the stupid category it’s nearly impossible to comprehend.

First of all, there shouldn’t be a restaurant opening. Anywhere. That’s not to shit on the industry as a whole, which is due exponentially more support from the government than it’s gotten. That support could have saved them while not putting its low-wage workers in danger in order to stay in business. It’s a massive failure. That support didn’t happen.

Either way, this shouldn’t be a climate where anyone felt it was a good idea to open a restaurant, because no one should be going to one. A pause button for all was required, and ignored by far too many.

Advertisement

Even if you put all that to the side, and it’s really hard to do so, there certainly shouldn’t have been multiple Texans there. Sure, their season is toast, and once your season is toast the motivation to keep following the intricate protocols might evaporate, but that’s also the job these days. They might not really work, and the NFL has bent them in whatever way they can to not have to cancel a game, but that’s what the players agreed to.

Also, what the fuck is a Detroit-style sandwich? That’s not a thing. You can’t just mash together a food item and a city and call it a thing. That’s how you name sex acts. Everyone knows that.

The kicker is that, of course Romeo, Crennel didn’t know anything about it, which is pretty much how Crennel’s career outside of New England has gone. Hell, it might have gone that way in New England, too, but Bill Belichick was there to make sure no one noticed. You could play “Girl From Ipanema” in Crennel’s headset during games and you wouldn’t see much different results.

It’s yet another highlight of the country’s simply bewildering reaction to the pandemic that would be studied by generations to come if our school system wasn’t going to soon be bought out by Amazon and turned into market research. The NFL will brush it under the rug, claim it wasn’t a violation, or there wasn’t enough evidence or whatever, and continue to engineer this train through the broken tracks that it has all season. Same as it ever was.

Advertisement

Let’s end with something spectacular. Here’s West Ham’s Sebastien Haller scoring the goal that most of us wouldn’t even dream of, and any attempt from 98 percent of us would result in any number of ligaments turning to dust:

Advertisement

We can't be too careful. Two guys in an airport...talking? It's a little fishy.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter