That’s a clown lawsuit, bro

When you sponsor the Jacksonville Jaguars, you know what you’re getting into

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Clown show is right.
Clown show is right.
Illustration: Shutterstock

The Jacksonville Jaguars were a joke long before this season. They’ve made the playoffs seven times in their 27-year history, and four of those were in the first five seasons of their existence. This season will be Jaguars’ fifth in the last six years in which they’ve finished last in the AFC South, which itself is not exactly the NFL’s powerhouse division.

The Jaguars’ two greatest contributions to American culture are being the source of mockery on NBC’s The Good Place and the Jimmy Smith Roll, a deep fried smoked salmon roll available at several of Jacksonville’s finest sushi emporia... and also in Dumfries, Virginia, for some reason.

So, no,, which is suing the Jaguars to get out of a sponsorship deal, does not have a case that the team breached its contract “by exposing’s brand to a toxic marketing environment that will cause irreparable harm.”


When you agree to pay $600,000 a year for a guarantee that your company will get significant exposure at a Jaguars game, it is a completely reasonable expectation that your game will be the one where fans show up dressed as clowns to… and well, you get why. Getting the clown game is a lot better than getting the guy-grabbing-his-dick-in-the-swimming-pool game or the woman-fullly-dressed-in-the-swimming-pool game or anything involving that cursed swimming pool, really.

And it’s we’re talking about here, a company that willingly sponsors the Boca Raton Bowl, a game that this season lucked into being the place where Bailey Zappe of Western Kentucky set the single-season FBS passing touchdown record, but which otherwise would be the kind of college bowl game that’s nothing but the butt of jokes.


Could it be that is suing the Jaguars in an attempt to Streisand Effect itself? Maybe. After all, nobody would be talking about a roofing company’s second-tier sponsorship of the final game of the season for the NFL’s worst team if they weren’t going to court to try to get out of it, clowns or no clowns.

If that’s the case, consider the lawyers’ fees a better investment than the initial sponsorship of the Jaguars, because now a lot more people know about and their commitment to bringing “transparency, trust, and efficiency to the roofing industry,” whatever that means.

And look for several members of the current Jaguars roster to be installing roofs in the greater Jacksonville area next year, because they clearly don’t belong in the NFL.