In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 1972 Miami Dolphins, who stuck enough pins in enough voodoo dolls and got the 2009 Colts to commit consumer fraud on the football public.

Indy coach Jim Caldwell pulled his starters in the third quarter yesterday and let the Jets walk all over his Colts' perfect season, thereby ensuring that the '72 Dolphins remain football's bestest team ever. I'll leave the ethics of this to the Kantians hanging around ESPN and elsewhere (one of whom needs to explain why NFL convention demands that regulars only be rested en bloc in the second half and that they never, ever be re-inserted) and merely congratulate the old Dolphins bunch, who get to go on being the bitchiest, most insufferable collection of passive aggressives in all of sports.


Oh, look. Here's Don Shula with some thoughts to share:

"While the Jets win today ended Indianapolis' streak and showed once again how difficult it is to go undefeated, I want to congratulate the Colts on a great run," coach Don Shula said.


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Here are some other winners who did not win quite as big:

Urban Meyer: for treating us to a Gainesville dinner theater production of Hamlet.


Lane Kiffin: who gets to look clear-headed and totally self-possessed in comparison. He will now break about 87 different NCAA rules trying to lure Florida recruits to Knoxville.

And your weekend loser? Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro, who is about to get thrown off Navy Pier.