The Answer Is None. None More Black

Athletes want to be musicians. Maybe they're not getting enough groupies on their day job, but the urge for a player to also be a troubadour seems overwhelming. Oftentimes Every time, it's a failure (I'm looking at you, Deion).

With the exception of Denny McClain's bizarre lounge act, they almost always try their hands at rap. That's why it's refreshing, and not a little terrifying, to hear that three Dallas Cowboys have signed a deal to put out a heavy metal record.

Offensive linemen Marc Colombo (guitar/vocals), Leonard Davis (bass) and Corey Procter (drums) are Free Reign, and bill themselves as "heavier than metal." (Get it? Because they're grotesquely overweight?) They've signed with Australia's Riot Entertainment, label of such luminaries as Chris Jericho's band Fozzy, and someone called The Berzerker. But guess what? They're not bad!

Give a listen to them on their MySpace page. OK, lyrics like "A meltdown of humanity/Watching our world die/A stream of brutality/It flows from hatred" could have been written on my Trapper Keeper in 7th grade, and first single "Last Goodbye" sounds like Godsmack gone soft. But they play their own instruments, and they're competent, and that's enough to dub them best crossover athlete/musicians in history.