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The B.S. Report Report: I Love This Parlay So Much I Could Die


Julia Alvidrez, Gawker Media's operations manager, is an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons and everything Grantland. She is also an occasional reader of Deadspin. Every week, she will recap Simmons's podcast, The B.S. Report, for us.

Holy moly, this was a busy week for Bill, with four podcasts and five guests. We have Mike Lombardi talking football, Alan Sepinwall gabbing about what's on TV for 40 minutes, Cousin Sal picking lines poorly again, Aaron Schatz and Bill gushing about the Seahawks, and Zach Lowe saying nothing I'm interested in.


If you want to listen to some deep football stuff, listen to Monday's hour with Mike Lombardi. 'Nuff said.

Bill's not just an avid sports fan, he's also a big TV junkie. As is Alan Sepinwall, author and publisher of The Revolution Was Televised. This book chronicles shows that have had an impact on other shows, and people, and something about the big picture? I'm not really sure, but you're free to read it and find out. Basically, if you watched Oz, E.R. or The Sopranos, this podcast is for you. It's not surprising that someone like Alan can find all of this time to watch TV, but based on their conversation, I assume Bill has seen most of the shows in the book as well. How does Bill watch all those sports and all those shows? Are there enough hours in the day? He makes a joke about Two Broke Girls! There's no way in HELL he has enough time to watch that garbage.

Cousin Sal is easily my favorite podcast guest. There's a chance I like him more than Bill, but don't tell Bill I said so. Anyways, he doesn't do very well picking the lines this week, but who cares, because BIll and Sal spend the last few minutes of the episode concocting a parlay that won't come to fruition until next October. They are taking Diana as the name of the royal baby with 12-to-1 odds (even though Sal wants the baby to be named Romo), Pacquiao over Marquez in tonight's fight, Bucs over Eagles on Sunday, and the Minnesota Lynx to win the 2013 WNBA title. I love this so much I could just die. Our Sports Guy Moment of the Week is brought to us by Sal and it's a story about his (and Bill, and Jimmy Kimmel's) agent, James "Babydoll" Dixon.


We round out the week on Wednesday with something that Bill calls "Smart Guy Wednesdays." I don't think this is a real thing but I'll run with it. Aaron Schatz joins Bill and they spend a majority of the podcast talking about the Seahawks. Bill tells us that he wasn't ever officially off the bandwagon, but after last week's road win he is 100 percent back on. Thank god, because how else would I know what's going on with Russell Wilson?

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