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The B.S. Report Report: "Whaaaaaat?"


Julia Alvidrez, Gawker Media's operations manager, is an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons and everything Grantland. She is also an occasional reader of Deadspin. Every week, she will recap Simmons's podcast, The B.S. Report, for us.

Hello and welcome to The B.S. Report Report. It's a sunny Friday here in New York City. This week: Bill and Cousin Sal pick the Week 5 lines, we get a glimpse into "30 for 30" 2.0, JackO and Bill hate the All-Fenway Team, Arnold Schwarzenegger talks about Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Gus Ramsey says "noodle" a lot.


Sunday night's game between San Diego and New Orleans proves to be a tough line to draw. Bill goes pick 'em while Sal goes 2.5, and the line falls at 3 for New Orleans. Turn the volume way up for Bill's reaction, which takes the cake for "Sports Guy Moment of the Week!"

Later in the hour, Bill chats with Billy Corben, director of Broke, the first episode in "30 for 30" volume 2. Spoiler alert: young professional athletes are bad at keeping a hold on their finances. I'm definitely tuning in if only for a peek into the garages of the Cribs-era Clippers.

Bill takes a few different approaches to making himself feel better about the Red Sox: first by suggesting that Larry Lucchino has been replaced by a lookalike, à la Dave, then by diverting his anger toward the All-Fenway Team (however, he gets caught up here and accidentally defends Roger Clemens), and then finally by challenging himself to pronounce "Che-Hsuan Lin." The hour ends with JackO's daughter taking off her pants, and that's all she wrote.

On Wednesday, Bill spends the hour with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Marriage, family, and politics are tossed aside, leaving a lot of room for talk of '60s amateur bodybuilding and the tale of how Arnold became Hercules. Arnold does reveal that during the prime of his bodybuilding career, his thighs were his biggest weakness. They are too long! Now the question we've all been waiting for: What's Arnold's favorite Arnold movie? "How do I choose between Terminator 2, Terminator 1, True Lies, or Twins?" I couldn't agree more. Want more Arnold? His book, Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story is out now.


We close out the week with a lightning hour featuring Bill Barnwell, House, and Gus Ramsey. I listened to this one during a nap. The highlight is that hockey should have a 55-game season so that Bill can pay less for his season tickets. What I'm trying to say here is that I'm bored. Please stop.

And we're just about out of time. Anything to plug?

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