The best (and worst) moments of the Super Bowl's first half

The pre-game on FOX ridiculously started at noon. And we’ve been here the entire time. You didn’t miss anything until approximately 5:30 pm ET, when FOX aired the first Snackin’ with the Stars ad.

Okay, the one with Snoop in Martha Stewart’s fridge to get the goat cheese platter was funnier. But still, we looked forward to who would open the fridge next every time it closed.

This was notable mainly for how terrible it was. Who is writing these things?

He hugged every single person. Cancel the game. Nothing tonight offers is going to beat this moment.

Okay, it’s because it was Dak. But still. How many Eagles fans are at this thing?

Mostly we enjoyed it because of 1) how much Sheryl Lee Ralph deserves the moment she’s having and 2) because it makes Lauren Boebert really, really mad.

(Elaine Benes voice) What. Is with. The tears, Eagles? Someone go give your coach a hug.

The Eagles’ offense moved the ball at will and got on into the end zone and on the board with 10:10 left on the clock in the first quarter. After all the doubters Hurts has had to deal with in his short career, it’s time for the shuttin’ up to begin.

This actually makes us feel better about all those pics we saw of Ben working the drive thru. We has assumed it was a side gig.

This one’s gonna be a shootout.

Hey, did you know Travis Kelce’s brother is also playing in this Super Bowl?

On a related note, very upset that Raiders of the Lost Ark only has 3.5 stars on Uverse’s info screen. If Raiders isn’t considered a 4-star movie, what are you even looking for?

Mostly because it had all of Gen X/Xennials squealing about how great Cher (Alicia Silverstone) and Amber (Lisa Adaline Donovan) look.

We love to see it.

Harrison Butker pulling a Cody Parkey. In the Super Bowl. YIKES. Would have put the Chiefs up 10-7.

45 yards and damn, was it pretty.

This isn’t going to work, DC. We can just stay home and watch Michael Keaton play Batman in movies with less-problematic co-stars. Like Mr. Mom and Night Shift.

Jalen Hurts just dropped it and Nick Bolton happened to be in exactly the right place at the right time. The Chiefs tie it up with 9:39 left in the 1st half.

And the crowd was chanting “MVP! MVP!”

If only we’d had this in time for my friends’ Minnesota wedding and the jet skiers in jorts who pulled up to watch.

Anyone who’s ever had a high ankle sprain felt this one deeply. After the trainers worked on him, Mahomes was up and on the sidelines a few plays later.

Eagles lead 24-14 at the half and now it’s time for tonight’s main event - Rihanna.

In addition to owning half-time and making Donald Trump mad with her glorious existence, Rihanna’s reps confirmed that she’s pregnant with her second child. We stan our blood-red queen.