Screenshot: @StLouisBlues

The St. Louis Blues should be heading to the playoffs next month, and the Oilers are definitely heading back home to lick their wounds and wonder what went wrong again this year, and the difference between those two outlooks was on full display in Missouri tonight. Blues forwards were practically laughing at Oilers goaltenders, who let in shots in progressively infuriating and embarrassing ways en route to a 7-2 final score.

Mikko Koskinen, he of the headache-inducing contract extension, allowed the first trio. The opener, from Jaden Schwartz, seems nearly impossible on a netminder who’s allegedly 6-foot-7, but the slumping winger’s shot found its way past a clueless Koskinen’s glove from a weird angle—the kind of shot that seems like it could be stopped by anyone.

The Oilers escaped the first down just 1-0, but in the second, Alex Pietrangelo got on a breakaway, and Koskinen got caught flailing onto his back as the captain finished the simple backhand finisher.

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His confidence sufficiently shattered, Koskinen proceeded to let in a velvet-soft second goal from Schwartz. Even though he was screened, Schwartz’s shot appeared to hit the Finnish goalie right on the logo, but the puck somehow slipped through after the initial contact, and Koskinen again found himself on his butt as he desperately tried to swipe for the stop.

That was the end of Koskinen’s night, and in to replace him came the very green backup Anthony Stolarz. Less than two minutes into his appearance, Stolarz got absolutely clowned by David Perron, who knocked it off the reverse end of the unsuspecting goalie to join in on the humiliation.

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On this next one, in the third period, I don’t know if Perron is trying to make his deflection look as badass as possible, or if it’s just a happy accident, but either way, it’s a nasty fifth goal.

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And it got even worse. Pat Maroon earned the sixth by apparently turning the puck intangible, because otherwise it’s unclear how else it ghosted past Stolarz’s pad.

Oh, did you think that would be the end of the cruelty? No such luck. With barely a minute to go in the game, Schwartz picked up the hat trick by making Stolarz look as hopeless as a soccer keeper who guesses wrong on a PK.

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Summer is almost here, Edmonton.