Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Well. That happened. If anything this exercise in permanent body desecration has taught me this: I will never, ever bet on the Philadelphia Eagles again.

I was under the impression that tattoos, even the most pedestrian ones in the shape of power tools, would take a long period of time. Thankfully, Michelle from Dare Devil Tattoo is well-honed in her craft. It only took about 20 minutes, was relatively painless, and no blood was spilled. But now I'm forever scarred and, also, forever an unintentional lifelong supporter of The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. Or woodworking.


Tomorrow: The Cookie Sheet To The Face That Is The Arizona Cardinals.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Fuck you, Eagles.


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