The Chicago Bears' Kickers Are In Hell

The Chicago Bears have been trying all sorts of methods to move on from January’s season-ending double-doink. Nothing seems to be working.

They cut Cody Parkey, the kicker who missed the now-infamous 43-yard field goal. The team rounded up eight new kickers in May’s rookie minicamp and had them make attempts from that same distance at the end of a practice. (The candidates went a combined 2-for-8.) The Bears narrowed it down to three kickers—Chris Blewitt (yes, the joke is obvious), Elliott Fry, and Eddy Pineiro—and have tried to creep them out with “Augusta silence”: Everyone else at practice goes quiet as each player attempts a FG. (The benefits of this strategy are dubious, to me.) On Tuesday, after all three kickers missed and one of them single-doinked an attempt, Nagy reached his breaking point:

This morning, the coach came up with a solution: Reduce the number of underwhelming kickers by one.

Are either of those other two kickers actual options? Will the Bears ever find a serviceable placekicker again? Will Matt Nagy ever find joy again? Should the team commit to an “always go for two” strategy this upcoming season to compensate for the glaring weakness? How badly does Chicago regret letting Robbie Gould go?