The Closer: Come On Guys, Just Fight Already

Notes from a day in baseball:

• 1. Justice Delayed, And Denied. We'll admit it; we love a good baseball brawl. Clears the sinuses, settles old scores. Plus it's fun to see Don Zimmer grabbed by his head and flung to the ground. But by the same token, one of the most disappointing sentences in baseball is this: Both benches and bullpens cleared, but no punches were thrown and no one was ejected. It happened on Monday in Colorado, when the Rockies' Jose Mesa hit Arizona's Luis Gonzalez in the lower back with a pitch (Eric Byrnes had just homered). Then — and this is a weak move as well — Gonzalez walked halfway between home and first before charging the mound. Thrre should be a rule in baseball; if you leave the dugout, you had better fight. Otherwise, don't waste our time. Oh, the Rockies won 4-3.

• 2. If You Blinked, You Missed Him. Speaking of Pedro Martinez grabbing a large round object and throwing it, the Mets pitcher suffered his second-shortest outing ever, giving up six runs in the first as the Phillies frolicked 13-0. The team claimed Pedro suffered a right calf sprain.

• 3. We Now Wash Our Hands Of This. Ah, here we go. We were feeling guilty about the Tigers' five-game losing streak, so after apologies on Monday for jinxing them, matters seem to have righted themselves. And quickly. Curtis Granderson tripled on the first pitch of the game, and Detroit went on to beat Boston 7-4. Wait, does that mean we somehow ruined the Red Sox? Ahhh, we give up.

• 4. . Damn Yankees. Randy Johnson surpassed the 4,500 strikeout mark, and also the "looks like a French animated cartoon" mark, to lead the Yankees to a 7-2 win over the Angels.

• 5. That Fifties Show. Well, the Dodgers won again, we hear. That's 16 of their past 17, their best stretch since 1953. Oh, and Chipper Jones hit three homers for the Braves. OK, we're cool now? Have we mentioned your favorite team?