The Final Installment Of The Engelb Vielma Tracker, Featuring The Greatest Anagrammed Hits

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Many—most?—Orioles games feel vaguely pointless right now. The end result is usually clear before the game is underway, and while there’s plenty of different ways for the team to reach that result, those differ only in substance rather than sentiment. It’s all going to be pretty depressing. This was especially true in last night’s game against the Angels, even before first pitch. (For Chris Tillman starts, this feeling sets in earlier than usual.) The Orioles were down 5-0 by the end of the first and 6-0 by the time that Tillman was pulled in the second. The only thing to watch for was whether Albert Pujols would record his 3,000th hit; he did not, popping out and flying out after notching 2,999 on a double in the second inning. Baltimore lost, 12-3.

But briefly, in the bottom of the eighth inning, there was meaning. There was hope. There was Engelb Vielma, brought in as a defensive sub at shortstop.


He didn’t see any action. But he could have—he was there, if only for a half-inning—isn’t that, really, what counts? Engelb Stalin Vielma: a bivalent elm single, slam-bang level tie-in, baseman telling evil, eleven lint mailbags.

Do not fret; this tracker is not shutting down because our beloved defensive specialist is. He will still be there, whether that’s in Baltimore or back at Triple-A, at short or at second. But I’m leaving (for the adult version of Sports Illustrated Kids) so thanks, pals, for all of it.


Lamentable Live Sign. Bye!!!