Your morning roundup for March 1, the day Charlie Sheen rode a mercury surfboard on the media tsunami.
• Unranked Kansas State beat No. 8 Texas at home, 75-70. K-State has won five straight games, three against teams in the top 30 of the RPI. After the game, Frank Martin's sneer very nearly twisted into a smile, but it was just a trick of the light. This kid with the mustache, however, is very real, and very awesome.
• Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi played an exhibition match at Madison Square Garden last night. Sampras won 6-3, 7-5, and the event producers kept showing clips of their earlier playing days, like the 1990 US Open, when Agassi had a spiky mullet and Sampras looked like he'd just gotten his braces off. We're just glad that nobody got hurt, except for John McEnroe.
• The NBA trade rumors just don't stop, even if they won't take effect for another year: After 13 NBA seasons, Mike Bibby accepted a buyout from the Wizards. He'll return the $6.2 million he would have received next season, and it's thought that he'll bring his (perhaps waning) talents to South Beach next season. Meanwhile, in Newark, Mikhail Prokhorov is keeping Deron Williams happy with promises to bring someone like Dwight Howard to Brooklyn a year from now.
• In actual NBA action, Williams almost led the Nets over Phoenix in his home debut (13 points, 18 assists), with Beyonce and Jay-Z sitting courtside, but Channing Frye hit another game-winner. The Celtics held off the Jazz in Utah, and Derrick Rose led the Bulls over, well, the Wizards. But if you're keeping tabs: Chicago is 41-17 and third in the Eastern Conference, and Joakim Noah still looks certifiably insane.
• There's a man from a radio show in Alabama who claims he has tape that implicates Cam Newton in the pay-for-play scheme. Isn't this over by now? I thought we were done critiquing his moral code by now and we could just focus on his limbs.
• A naked man in Chicago ran around a parking lot, hit a cop, and emphatically questioned Jay Cutler's dedication to the Bears.
• Buzz is back at the Daily Beast.
[H/T Kevin for the screen grab]
A few stories you might've missed.
Redesign: Nick Denton explains what all we're doing to make you hate us less. You are all encouraged to read.
Bad Brains: How a seemingly innocuous piece of NCAA policy — the one-year, renewable scholarship — encourages players, coaches, and administrators alike to behave irresponsibly, and how that will only make football's concussion crisis worse.
Erotica: Watch Stephen Paea break the NFL Combine's bench-press record, as another man gives him husky, loving encouragement.
Semiotics: The London Olympics logo: Zionist conspiracy, or Lisa Simpson giving Bart a blowjob? You decide.