Photo: Mitchell Layton (Getty)

The Nationals beat the Cardinals by one run in extras on Labor Day. Who gives a shit, right? The Nationals are junk. The loss could matter to the Cardinals in their pursuit of an NL Wild Card, but that is not why we are here. We are here for this:

Can you see it coming? Here, in all its glory, is the Nationals’ record after today’s victory:


But here is where the story takes a dark, terrible turn. The Nationals entered Monday with a plus-67 run differential. You know what that means:



We could wait a century for another team to have this kind of shot at a 69–69 record, with a plus-69 run differential. Thanks for nothing, Nationals.