The Internet Hooligan Database Gives You Seven Stars Out of Ten For Bludgeoning

Euro 2008 gets underway today and to head off the inevitable flurry of violence that's just going to happen anyway, authorities in Switzerland have sent out letters of warning to 320 people who are listed on the country's hooligan database.

Swiss police have been writing to suspected football hooligans asking them kindly to refrain from violence at this month's European Championship.

"We know you to be a person who hasn't always stuck to the rules at sporting events," explains the letter sent to some 60 known troublemakers, before ending: "We hope that any encounter between you and us at this event will be nothing but pleasant. If you have any questions about this matter, please contact us. The Police."

I knew The Police had gotten back together, but I had no idea it was to issue sternly worded letters to soccer hooligans. Anything that keeps Sting out of the recording studio works for me.