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Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled The Memphis Grizzlies Lifetime Supply Of Tater Tots Giveaway Is A Vicious Lie

The Memphis Grizzlies are running an ostensibly fun promotion that received a write-up in yesterday's Wall Street Journal: instead of cash or a car, the lucky Grizzlies fan randomly selected to take a shot from half-court will get—quote—"a lifetime supply of Tater Tots" from Sonic should the shot happen to go in. What do you picture when you read "lifetime supply"? A freezer forever being replenished with frozen Tater Tots? A card that allows you Tater Tots whenever you want them? A room literally overflowing with Tater Tots? I am picturing all of those things, and more—dump trucks full of garbage bags full of Tater Tots. A Tater Tot house. An army of Tater Tot soliders saluting a Tater Tot flag. You hit a half-court shot. Are you entitled to anything less?

You actually get:

Jason Potter, the Grizzlies' director of promotions and event presentation, said the winner would receive the equivalent of one coupon per week for a medium order of Tater Tots.


Does that sound like a "lifetime supply" to you? You can eat a medium-sized portion of Tater Tots once a week? Doesn't that just make you want more Tater Tots?

Really, the embarrassment of rolling up to Sonic once a week with a coupon for a medium Tater Tots would have to outweigh many people's desire for the Tater Tots. Per the Wall Street Journal's research, a medium Tater Tots is a $1.69 value, meaning that a year's worth of medium Tater Tots coupons is worth about $88, redeemable only in Sonic Tater Tots. Giveaways by other NBA teams include: lump sums of up to $77,777, big screen HD TVs, and cars. Oklahoma City gives you $100 just for hitting the backboard—the guy in the picture above won the full $20,000 when he hit the half-court shot at a Thunder game in 2010.

If you get picked to take the half court shot in Memphis tonight, miss on purpose. You might hit a Sonic executive.

The Grizzlies' Starch Madness [WSJ]

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