The NFC East is bad at football - so get ready to see it showcased on Thursday night

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If Andy Dalton is the best QB in your division, you’re gonna have a bad time.
If Andy Dalton is the best QB in your division, you’re gonna have a bad time.
Image: (Getty Images)

If the NFL were high school, the NFC East is comprised of players who couldn’t make the varsity football team, so they branch off and start another “district.” All seniors but not good enough to make varsity.

In other words, their “district” is illegitimate. This is the story of how NFC East teams look against teams of other divisions across the NFL.

They aren’t able to hang with the other varsity squads around the area. They aren’t good enough. And don’t just take my word for it.


The NFC East for a while has represented a relic of the worst teams in the league.

Total wins by division:

NFC West: 16

AFC North: 15

NFC North: 12

AFC South: 11

AFC West: 11

NFC South: 11

AFC East: 10

NFC East: 5

Seniors can’t play for JV or freshman squads in high school football. You either make varsity, or you don’t make a team.


This is who the NFC East is: They can’t compete against their peers.

Fans will get the distinct honor of absorbing this parody between divisional foes this week on primetime TV Thursday night, as the New York Giants and Philadelphia Eagles face each other. Washington and Dallas will play each other midday Sunday.


NFC East standings:

Dallas: 2 - 4

Philadelphia: 1-4-1

New York: 1-5

Washington: 1-5

New York vs. Philadelphia contrived for primetime consumption.

Oh, lucky us.

It’s like the networks could care less about the torment NFL fans will be put through.


And the psychotic part about all of this is if New York and Washington win, they will tie with Dallas for the division lead.

Three, two-win teams.

Seven weeks into the season.

Tied for the division.

My goodness.

It’s astonishing the Eagles, who won the Super Bowl in 2018, belong to this division. What a fall from grace it’s been for them.


When Andy Dalton is playing best at quarterback in your division, of course, things are bad. Dalton was bad Monday night, but compared to his quarterback peers, I’d consider him the Nick Foles of the NFC East.

It’s that bad.

Where has $100 million man Carson Wentz been this season? He leads the league in turnovers.


Or Daniel Jones? The guy who sent Eli Manning on his high horse into retirement last year.

Maybe we’ll get the answer to both of these questions Thursday, or perhaps the answer lies with posing a follow-up question.


Who is the worst team in the NFC East this season: New York? Philadelphia? Dallas? Washington?

A four-way tie?

Maybe we’ll get the answer Thursday as we plod our way through an uninspiring spectacle.


The only requirement, stay awake.

Cheers to awful football ahead.