The One Where Nyjer Morgan Poops In A Gatorade Bottle

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We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.

It's usually because they're just so absurd or really lack even the most tenuous of news angles to give them the go-ahead. Other times it's because they're just absolute horseshit. But every Friday until we get sick of running them, we'll present to you some of these not-so-shiny gems. All items should be treated as [Sic'd]. Enjoy...


This Wasn't Nyjer Morgan's First Shit Fit

I read your post on nyjer morgan. Given that he plays on the washinton nationals, and was a recent call up (last year, I think) I haven't given much thought to Mr Morgan.

However, you don't meet many black guys named "nyjer" and I wondered if it was the same nyjer morgan that I went to hockey camp with in 1996. Turns out it was.

Nyjer was actually a really good hockey player - he played on some AAA teams in northern california, and on talent alone, could have been considered a legit D1 prospect. However, the kid was a total headcase. He got banned from a league for smashing in a trophy case after and ejection. I heard stuff about all sorts of other, more minor transgressions, but I wanted to share with you this story:

So at hockey camp in nisswa minnesota, shit gets kind of off the wall. You have hundred of dudes playing hockey, with lots of guys training for spots on various college/junior/AAA teams. You go to camp for 5-7 weeks, and its basically a hockey bootcamp. There isn't much to do besides play cards in your downtime, as the living accomodations are pretty spartan. The younger kids stayed in the dorms so the camp counselors could corrall them more easily, and the older guys stayed in the much nicer cabins (which housed 7-8 guys with its own tv and kitchen). The high school kids stayed in what were called "A-frames" and were notorious for misbehavior. As the name suggests, its a square, two story cabin, with no interior walls. There are 12 beds, 6 downstairs and 6 upstairs, where everyone sleeps barracks-style. 2 bathrooms. The only entertainment was a bench to play cards on.

As I said, there is NOTHING to do besides play hockey and hockey related activities. So naturally, you turn to pranks, and naturally the campers designate their affiliations according to there a-frame. Morgan lived in a rival A-frame, and you"d do stupid things - like steal someone elses chairs, or a radio, or you'd shave someone's head. However, things tend to escalate. I forgot what prompted this, but after a few nights of prank wars, we came back to an empty bottle of gatorade sitting in the middle of our card table. Filled with two HUGE logs. It turns out, morgan nyjer had shat in this bottle and put it in our cabin. Needless to say, we all got in huge trouble for this (in the typical, indiscriminate meting of justice only summer camp can provide), and wound up having to do wind sprints at like 1:00 am once the counselors discovered what all the commotion was about.

Anway, nyjer actually got kicked out of the camp for smoking weed, so there's that too.