The Warriors, Uh, Reportedly Want Dirk Nowitzki

The NBA Finals have come and gone, and it’s now officially NBA silly season, a wonderful time for fake trades to surface, GMs to draft mysterious Surinamese power forwards, and outlandish free agency plots to bloom and die. If you’re a fan of a dogshit team, this is your Christmas. Your team is totally on the verge of signing that guy, and they’re totally making the playoffs. Next season is never not your year in mid-June.

Here’s a tasty, strange rumor to get the proceeding started: the Warriors ( choking shitbags) are interested in the services of Dirk Nowitzki. This one comes from Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury News, who reports that the Warriors will pursue the German if they fail to sign Kevin Durant. Per Kawakami, the Warriors are immediately kicking into high gear to sign some new players and improve the team:

“We will be very aggressive,” one Warriors executive said late Sunday night when asked about the team’s approach in the coming movement period. “Very, very aggressive.”

The Warriors are going to take a look at any interesting free agent or trade candidate who might help them get back to the parade route ASAP.

Kevin Durant’s decision will dictate where the rest of the chips fall across the NBA, but Dirk appears to be Plan B:

The Oklahoma City star blots out all other pursuits and his situation this July will put everything else in the league on hold until he decides something.

Nowitzki, also a pending free agent, would be a next-tier discussion for the Warriors, and I’m told they have no idea if he’d be interested in leaving Dallas.

Obviously, Nowitzki would be a massive upgrade over Marreese Speights and Festus Ezeli off the bench, and you’d have to think the Warriors will try to improve at center, given Andrew Bogut’s shaky health and Festus Ezeli’s impending free agency. Dirk is a smart, instinctive player who, at 38, is still producing at an elite level. His shooting ability would make the Warriors’ ability to space the floor out even better.

On the other hand, no way does Nowitzki leave Dallas unless Mark Cuban nukes the team and goes for a complete rebuild this summer. Cuban is notoriously rebuild-averse and Nowitzki has been very public about his desire to retire as a Maverick. However, he has left the door open to leave if the Mavs blow it up, telling ESPN:

The only way I would ever leave is, like I’ve always said, if we start five rookies. Obviously, that’s not something that I want to be a part of, but as long as we go for it and compete, then I’ll be a Mav.

That’s just enough of an open window to regard the Warriors’ rumored interest and conceive of a scenario where Nowitzki ends up as a Warrior in 2016-2017. It won’t happen, probably, but if it does, oh man the Warriors are going to be fun next year.