These Emails Confirm That ESPN's Darren Rovell Is A Sensitive Penis

Remember when ESPN business reporter and post-human Darren Rovell narced out a guy on Twitter for cracking a joke at his expense? At the time, a lot of people figured Rovell was just blustering. Surely, they thought, he’s not so big a baby that he’d tattle on someone just for busting on him on the internet. Thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, we now know that, yes, Darren Rovell really is that big of a baby.

Here was the initial exchange, beginning with a harmless joke:

We put in a public records request with the University of Michigan asking for any correspondence between Rovell and Charles Shipan, the chair of the political science department where this Twitter user got his PhD a while back. (Why Shipan? Our guy isn’t sure. He told Kissing Suzy Kolber: “Presumably Darren Googled my full name and then zeroed in on the first authority figure he could find that had any presumptive relationship with me.”)

This is what Michigan sent us:

What a penis.